tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58252142767910295652024-03-04T23:10:57.712-08:00Marinik's Journey Life happens... just go with it..Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.comBlogger207125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-84140700110456257082016-02-17T19:29:00.000-08:002016-02-17T21:04:49.658-08:00It's Time..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I found myself on this blog recently searching through my posts for something I had written some time ago. This of course is sort of like organizing your photo boxes, you find yourself 5 hours later elbow deep in old photos and reminiscing, daydreaming, lost in the past with good and bad memories..<br />
Needless to say, that's just about what happened with my blog search. I have gone through my posts in the past, sometimes I need to come back here and remember... However something was different this time. Every time I opened a post, read a few lines of it and just moved on, searched for another post and another and so on. Very few of them still had a hold on me, made me stop and read and still moved me, without tears this time though.<br />
This I believe is a good sign, it's a sign that I have reread, relived, re-imagined pretty much all of what this experience meant to me. It's a sign that I have had my grief, lived it, hurt through it, learned and grew from it and am pretty much just over it. I'm done thinking about it, done feeling for it, done analyzing and dissecting it and even done craving it. Yes sounds strange doesn't it? Craving it, yes we humans feel the need to be sad sometimes, we want to feel the pain, we want to relive the tragedy that we so desperately try to forget and get over. We do this just to make sure we don't forget, because we are afraid of what will happen when we forget and start feeling good again. It feels wrong to us to forget and to "get over" something so horrible such as the death of your soulmate...<br />
When one reaches a place where one does not need something anymore, I believe that is the time to walk away from whatever it is you were needing. It means you have made your peace, you've accepted that which was thrown your way whether you wanted it or not. You have overcome it. It means that your brain has processed this experience every which way it needed to, your heart has endured all the pain it can for it, your eyes have cried their tears dry. Once you have inhaled deeply, filling your lungs with all of it, you've taken it all in, you are ready now to finally exhale into the universe. You keep what you need inside and let the rest of it float up into the sky, and that is the point at which you just let go of it.<br />
It doesn't mean you forget the person or the very thing that caused or was the center of that storm that blew through your core, it just means you forget the grief, the pain and the hardship that came with the storm. You forget the heartache, you forget the moments that made you want to lock yourself in a dark room and not see, feel or hear anything. You forget how low you can feel at times and how utterly disappointed at life those moments made you feel. You forget all of the ugliness that pretty much molded you into this weathered, somewhat broken, a bit harsher yet a bit wiser and into this beautiful being who you are today because of this very experience. Yes, you forget the process, the lessons, the daily struggle of surviving and getting through it, you forget all of it. What you don't forget however is how to be this, the person you are today, you don't forget how to be you, because you are who you are now because you walked it, that path was yours and yours alone. You don't have to look back to see where you were and how you got here necessarily, you just have to keep going, but definitely with a greater sense of yourself and of what you are capable of getting through and conquering.<br />
The world, all of a sudden doesn't seem all that scary and big anymore. Nothing seems impossible or unreachable. It's like that epic moment at the end of a film where the hero stands tall, with the unknown road up ahead, brushes the dust off his shoulder and keeps walking.. a bit poetic and corny I know but you get the picture.<br />
So, having said all this. I'm happy to report that I'm ready to close this blog, exhale it into the universe-she says as she brushes the dust off her shoulder. Ready to walk away and let it go.<br />
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It's been quite the journey.. <br />
Onto the next one..</div>
Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-41261921117593831532013-03-03T12:39:00.004-08:002016-02-14T10:16:57.638-08:00So, Here We Are...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnqqEHhyphenhyphenGd8k6ETlr5CVAytJgYnanK_OfBeiF7KLrPU_x685AdMFe6uGswO6cVWD2JshD2Bph1ZhbmWbaIBb8er7o0WA4NMhtsfn6FcdW72HO9xXxcqraPSf3b9Yzst4ZLNQgXyD9M1cw/s1600/_MG_0236.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnqqEHhyphenhyphenGd8k6ETlr5CVAytJgYnanK_OfBeiF7KLrPU_x685AdMFe6uGswO6cVWD2JshD2Bph1ZhbmWbaIBb8er7o0WA4NMhtsfn6FcdW72HO9xXxcqraPSf3b9Yzst4ZLNQgXyD9M1cw/s400/_MG_0236.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunset, Santorini. "It looks like a painting.." - Arman</td></tr>
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Well, now that I've recovered from jet-lag, sleeplessness, had a breather and have actually stopped pinching myself over and over just to check if the past 6 months were real or not... I think I'm ready to talk. Hmmm where to begin?<br />
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First off let me just say, this was the most amazing experience the boys and I will ever share. As a parent we all have to accept that sooner or later our kids will be all grown up and like it or not will most likely not want to go on too many family trips. This is a good thing too, we want them to have their own adventures and travel with their friends, experience things on their own and make their own special memories. I'm just really glad I was lucky enough to have had this great opportunity to do this with the boys and really bond and connect with them on a different level, especially after going through such a tough chapter in our lives... As they say, nothing brings family closer than a tragic experience. But let's leave the sad stuff for another blog..<br />
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I tried to write as much as I could about our travels and keep you guys posted on the adventure but in my opinion it wasn't nearly as much as I thought I'd write. Let's just say I was on Greek speed :) I have a few blogs lined up to cover some of the things we've learned about ourselves, people, other cultures and what we can learn from each other, from our brothers and sisters that happen to live on this planet under different names, cultures, religions etc. Of course visiting just a handful of countries in Europe isn't nearly enough to see and learn all the wonderful things our world has to offer but it's a starting point. Which is kind of what I set out to do in the first place. To show the boys that there is a lot more to this world than their own back yard, that the things to explore and see span way further than the view from their bedroom window and that they should feel free to reach as far as they can, to try new things and explore deeper than their imagination. I wanted them to see life in other places, to know that home can be anywhere the heart is happy. In other words I wanted them to see that there is a whole lot of life to be lived, so much to learn, see and feel.<br />
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I felt it absolutely necessary to make them understand this on that very Tuesday afternoon a few months ago, when during one of my conversations with Arman he said to me.."thug life mom, what's the point anyways we're all gonna die one day"... This is not what you want to hear from an 18 year old with his whole life ahead of him and yet hope is lost from seeing his dad slowly slip away and die way sooner than he had planned and not having had done half the things he set out to do as a young boy. No my friends, this I would not have, moms don't just sit around and watch the light go out of their kids eyes, hopes and dreams dwindling as the days go by. No! We act! We get up, pull up our sleeves and get to work! That is what being a parent is about. Glad to report that we achieved what we set out to and so much more... I couldn't be happier for my boys.<br />
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It was a learning experience for all three of us, it was a time of rest, a time of joy, a time of doing nothing and everything. With a few sobering moments, a few "lessons learned, moving on" moments, as well as a few eye tearing, belly hurting laughing moments. Bread was broken, drinks were shared, long conversations took place, cooking sessions and mouth watering food was enjoyed, not to mention the heart warming and soul satisfying moments. I loved seeing the look on the boys faces when they saw the beauty and wonders around them, with wide eye amazement. They enjoyed seeing me laugh hard and dance, and sing while I drove... They waited patiently at every meal, rolling their eyes at me as I snapped a photo before they could eat :) I let them lead at times to go where they go and see what they see, watching them from behind. I learned that boys will always feel protective and respectful towards their moms, this you can not teach, and I love that. They learned that mom can actually be pretty cool to hang out with sometimes, and I love that too. :) We learned to let go and just went where the waves took us, with no expectations or direction. That was liberating to say the least.<br />
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As I said a great experience.. a one of a kind, with no repeats or reruns. We took it all in, especially me. As I would stop often and remind myself to wake up, open my eyes and have a moment of pure clarity, to realize and cherish each one of those moments. What can I say friends, I truly wish this on each and every one of you. If not for 5 months in Europe then for 5 hours spent with your kids, listening to the things they have to say and seeing the things they want to see.. The world they let you in and the moments shared are so special, that's what will keep you going through anything life throws at you.<br />
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I think life is full of tragedy, pain, sadness and disappointment but we have to have a steady stream of small happy moments on an IV drip at all times, slow, trickling of tiny joyous experiences that will keep us strong in between those sad moments. Those memories we create, as we close our eyes are all we take with us and all we leave behind as well.<br />
Thanks for listening, stay tuned, more to come. :) <br />
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Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com47tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-66857230903889118572012-09-01T12:42:00.000-07:002012-09-01T12:54:34.848-07:00it's that time of your life..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
You know how we're always using some famous quotes about life?... "Life is too short".. "Gotta live for the moment".. "It's now or never!".. etc. You get the picture.. Well it seems we are mostly preaching and hardly ever practicing. Sometimes it's good to follow your own advice and really do just that!.. "it's now or never" or perhaps a new one I just came up with, "it's that time of your life" and you can quote me on that! <br />
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We all have dreams, after all it's part of being human to dream, to wish, to hope for and to reach towards those dreams. Unfortunately most of us just live our day to day lives, going through the usual ups and downs of life and making the best of it, and it may be a comfortable place we have reached and are content with our lives.. but that little dream is still in our head whispering every now and then... reminding us that there was something extraordinary we dreamed of at one point. Well, I believe we all reach a point in our lives where this dream may have a window, a perfect moment of execution if you will, of going from our imagination to becoming a reality. The important thing is to identify this little gap, this tiny moment of opportunity for this dream to be lived out. Although other things in life or the universe may seem not so aligned for this perfect moment but, it seems to be a perfect time in your life... and why not take that leap and live that dream, one would simply be a fool not to.<br />
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Where am I going with this?.. Well I've always dreamed of living in Greece, and timing was never right, that tiny gap of opportunity never presented itself.. until now that is. Needless to say I jumped at the right moment and decided to take a leap and try something I've been dreaming of for some time now, we'll never know until we try right?! Since I've sold the shop, I work freelance yes but nothing definite of a carreer that I'm messing up by leaving. We have a place to stay in Greece. The country may not be in it's best shape at the moment, but as I said it's not the perfect time in the universe that matters only that it's that time in our lives that's perfect for this move. The kids were the only thing I was concerned about, since I would not go anywhere without them. When I asked last year after our visit to Greece if they would want to live there... they were hesitant and so I dropped the subject for good. Until a couple of months ago when they came to me and said that they were thinking about giving it a try. Imagine my surprise and joy, at the same time the relief I felt that perhaps the time has come and perhaps it's actually going to unfold, this dream of mine...<br />
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Fast forward two months, and here we are, I'm sitting in my parents apartment in Thessaloniki, having some tea and writing my first blog about this journey we are on. It was a busy two months to say the least, it seems you can't just up and leave your home, lot's to do and organize. Work needed to be finished, home cleaned and sorted as I've rented out my home for the time being. And saying our goodbys were not easy. But we did it! Made a decision, stuck to it and made it happen. We will be here for a few months, testing the waters and seeing if this really is a dream we can live with. It will not be easy, but it will be interesting and more importantly it will be an adventure none of us will ever forget. The boys are very excited to be in a new place, trying new things. They will be taking a semester off of their studies, but think of all the things this experience will teach them. This will be an interesting challenge for them to see how well they can adapt and I think this is a great opportunity for us three to pull together and bond as the family of three that we are now.<br />
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Like I said, it's that time of our lives, perfect little gap in life. It's now or never.<br />
I'll be writing more about our lives here, the ups and down, the good, the bad and even the ugly.. and of course the beautiful :)<br />
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Peace and Light to you my friends. </div>
Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-3679216594385097742012-05-27T11:32:00.000-07:002016-02-14T10:30:40.476-08:00Reflecting...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
At the start of this year when I closed down the shop and decided to turn the page if you will, and go forth onto new chapters of life, I wanted to take some time to rest, perhaps rejuvenate and get a fresh new perspective. So, I've been pretty much doing that for the past few months... whatever "that" indicates.. Other than occupying myself with little projects here and there, and spending time at home, I've been doing a lot of reflecting as well. Lots to think about.. It has been a great time to finally mourn my loss, to sulk, to cry, to remember, to forgive and to just grieve in peace..<br />
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For about four years now, since Gag's heart attach which led to the surgery, then the cancer that consumed our lives, and the tough journey after his death it has been quite a chapter to say the least. As I think back now, I mostly see a lot of darkness, pain, stress, sadness and as well as learning, discovery, love, closeness and even a few smiles and moments of joy... But all this has been quite exhausting to take in. Having said that, I still believe and always have, that things happen for a reason, they happen when they are supposed to happen and in the matter in which they happen, if that makes sense. This is one of the realizations that I've come to in the process of this reflection... After Gag passed away, and honestly speaking even while he was ill and struggling, I had a lot to deal with, but most of the stress was coming from the steady decline and deterioration of the shop - our livelihood. In other words I didn't have time in my day to really sit and think about what was going on, or what had just happened, when he passed on.. No time for sulking, crying all day in my bed, feeling the deepness of the loss. Most days I had to keep strong for my boys, for family and had way too much to worry about, so as much as Gag was on my mind every second of the day... he had, let's just say taken the back seat. I just didn't have the "luxury" or the chance to really mourn him, I couldn't! And whenever I did, I lost myself and couldn't function. Life needed me, everyone needed me, so I had to put my pain and feelings way on the back burner and forget about it...<br />
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Well it eventually boiled over leaving me exposed to it's harshness, unarmed and frail. However, I think all that happened for a reason too, perhaps that was a good way for me to let the storm pass, meaning it might have made the first two years without him more bearable. Don't get me wrong it was hell on roller skates... very straining, incredibly difficult, absolutely crushing and just too damn hard on me. We solved every little problem we had in life together, Gag and I. We were true partners in work and life, so to deal with the crumbling of the shop, the place he had built with his sweat and countless hours, was way too hard to deal with on my own. This was his work, his life, our bread and it was sinking fast and taking me down with it. All the while I was trying to keep it afloat giving it all I had, which wasn't good enough and eventually I had to let go of the rope. It was the toughest decision I had ever made, and it did take me two years to really accept the fact that it was over and there was nothing I could do to save it. Perhaps this time the captain took the boat down with him.. And through that very tough time I couldn't cry enough for Gag, or sit in silence thinking of him, feeling the love he left behind, no time for the anger or the denial that should follow the loss. Again perhaps that is the way it had to be, so that the pain was lighter on me... do I thank him for this? Which process would've been worse? I don't know the answers. All I know is that I finally got to mourn, which has lifted my heart and has given my soul the chance to let go, to breath, to look up and smile and to dream again... So it would appear that it's true, you do need time to grieve and cry and mourn and accept and get angry and let go.. otherwise you can't be whole again.<br />
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The things we learn the hard way....<br />
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There are a few things I want to say to all that have been in my life and have shared my pain..<br />
I'd like to apologize to my loved ones and to my family for not being emotionally available, for not giving you a shoulder to cry on or to hear your troubles, as I always did before. I'd like to say sorry to my boys for crying in front of them and for the moments of weakness they saw in me, to my parents I'm sorry for giving you more to worry about. I'd like to apologize to my friends for not being there socially, for good times and bad... To Gag for getting angry at you for leaving me and for the few moments a day when I forget. I'd also like to thank the few in my heart for always being there even when I said I didn't need them (because I really did). I want to say thank you to my lovely boys who give me so much to live for. Thanks to Gagik for all the love and the lifetime of memories that help me go on, thank you for the times you've helped me up, even now. In the end I'd like to apologize to myself for not being kind at times and for doubting myself..<br />
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What doesn't kill us definitely makes us stronger...<br />
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Peace, live joyously and well..<br />
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Thanks you for lending an ear again and again..</div>
Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-72776907379333013722012-03-07T11:10:00.000-08:002012-03-07T11:10:21.930-08:00Something new to write about<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Hi dear friends, just a quick note.. I've started a new blog, because I was asked by a local online newsletter/publication if I would blog about my little town and the community. Of course I jumped at the opportunity. So swing by and check it out, I'm very excited to have great new people and things to write about.<br />
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This new blog is dedicated to the town of Eagle Rock, it's people and the stories behind the faces of the community I have come to love. Everyone has walked a path that has led them to this moment and place in time, this is where their stories will be shared. Let me introduce you to my town and show you why I have come to call it home. Welcome to Eagle Rock!<br />
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Here's the first post:<br />
<a href="http://mytowneaglerock.blogspot.com/2012/03/late-night-tacos-served-with-smile.html?spref=fb">http://mytowneaglerock.blogspot.com/2012/03/late-night-tacos-served-with-smile.html?spref=fb</a></div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-12507062855115705562011-11-08T11:44:00.000-08:002011-11-08T11:44:16.529-08:00Fundraiser update from Armenia<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Hello dearest friends, I'm very happy to be able to share this great news with all of you. With the help of all your great contributions, I was able to make this wish of mine a reality. Your donations reached Armenia, found a great home and now I have received word that the playground for which the funds were to be used for is almost complete. They have sent me some photos of the work in progress and this makes me very happy and grateful for having such amazing and supportive friends and family around me. Thank you all very much!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnz0GBxYH6XWkADj6IgoXoIyEZ-mwuBW5groxDqY9XV8AVdo5Z1Smv-Ed3A1n9cz4-NuhLAxLdO-HAlUNF65LIBuNQkFZHV3A-76lrbZsslTVKzNVfLBK2KC9R7zmMW1PrlCcP2RVJB4E/s1600/Untitled-1aa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnz0GBxYH6XWkADj6IgoXoIyEZ-mwuBW5groxDqY9XV8AVdo5Z1Smv-Ed3A1n9cz4-NuhLAxLdO-HAlUNF65LIBuNQkFZHV3A-76lrbZsslTVKzNVfLBK2KC9R7zmMW1PrlCcP2RVJB4E/s400/Untitled-1aa.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Let me tell you a little about this organization that I'm very happy to have helped out. When I arrived in Armenia I had two very important goals. One was to have Gagik's ashes spread all around the grounds of Edjmiatsin and the other was to make sure the funds I had collected with the fundraiser reached a worthy cause. The first part went as planned and brought peace to my heart at last... However the donation part was becoming a bit of a challenge. Phone call after phone call to orphanages around the city left me with closed doors. They didn't want me to do anything for the kids, they all just wanted the funds, and because I wanted to be more involved with where the funds were to be spent I wasn't happy about this arrangement.. We've all heard horror stories about donations and the corrupt way in which they are distributed, but we will not get into that now.<br />
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Through a friend I met a very humble and kind man Ashot, who is the director at a great international organization that has been providing warmth and comfort to orphans around the world since 1949. SOS Children's Villages and the work they do blew me away... First off when I spoke to Ashot on the phone he said that they are not in need of anything, and that the organization provides for everything... this was a shocker for me. But he would be more than happy if we wanted to spend some time and visit the kids at the village. So this is how these villages work.. A village is built with 5 to 10 homes on the grounds. Each home is assigned a "mother" and an "aunt", the mother must be between the ages of 30 to 45(about), single and without children of her own. Each mother then is given between 4 to 8 kids to care for and raise as her own, they all live in this home as a family unit with the aunt helping out. The children attend public school with the rest of the kids in the neighborhood and have a small sense of normalcy. One of the my favorite things about this organization is that unlike other state orphanages the kids are not kicked out at 18 with no skills, jobs or homes and are forced to fend for themselves with any means possible. SOS organization takes them through their early adult life, still providing a place to live and teaching them a trait of some kind, helping them find jobs etc. This I think is a much better way of sending these kids out into the world to live and better their lives.<br />
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Needless to say I fell in love with this organization, the village which is built in the town of Ijevan, nestled in the hills and the staff of wonderful people who have bonded and have created a beautiful family. The kids are mostly brought here after the family abandoned or abused them, each with a very sad story.... But they are all very well taken care of, love their "mothers" and all call Ashot uncle. It was a beautiful family unit we saw and I knew this is where I wanted to contribute. After walking the grounds with Ashot we realized that the kids don't have a playground where they can have fun and release some energy with laughter, as all kids should. And that my friends is exactly what we did.... Now it gives me great joy to know that with each child's laughter on that playground Gagik's spirit will be celebrated. It warms my heart...<br />
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Once again all this was made possible by all the generosity you have all shown me.. Words are not enough for me to express my gratitude... May you all find yourselves at one point or another in your lives with such deep satisfaction and inner peace as you have all provided me with...<br />
Thank you my friends!<br />
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<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"> if anyone is still interested in the cards there are plenty left :)</span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"> <a href="http://herthirdeye.myshopify.com/" rel="nofollow nofollow" target="_blank"><span>http://herthirdeye.myshopi</span><wbr></wbr><span class="word_break"></span>fy.com/</a></span><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"> </span><br />
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<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"> </span> </div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-76535657800642649982011-08-30T23:44:00.000-07:002011-08-31T08:49:17.723-07:00learning as we go..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I have not put words down for some time now, not really sure why.... perhaps because I have more on my plate or on my mind I should say then usual, perhaps this "writing your feelings down" thing got a little mundane and unsatisfying as well... like I said I'm not really sure.. But, tonight I guess I feel I have some things to share with those of you who have been with me through this tough journey, and for those still listening.<br />
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I recently made a trip to Armenia, where both Gagik and I were born, funny we even come from the same neighborhood but never met till years after we had both moved here... small world. The reason for my journey there was to bring some of his ashes to the Seminary where he had spent some years as a young student. This was not part of the requests he had for us, this was something I wanted to do for him, because every time he spoke of those short 4 years he spent there... he seemed happy and had fond memories from there, so I wanted to bring a part of him back to that happy place...I made this trip with his sister, which I think was very significant for both of us, we shared something very special, and only we knew what this meant to us, how we really felt each step of the way and we each found some peace inside in our own individual way. Glad to have done this, glad to have done it this way and everything turned out perfect... exactly how I had pictured it in my mind time and time again. Even the fundraiser I had in his honer found it's way to the perfect place to make a difference...<br />
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I then joined my family for some much needed rest and fun in Greece. But, this trip to Greece didn't only serve as a relaxation retreat or a well spent quality time with my boys, it did a lot more for me... For a few weeks we felt like a "normal" family, and by "normal" I mean not a family dealing with loss, having to question our feelings, or figuring out which stage of grief we were going through. Yes an important member of the family was still missing and he was on my mind constantly, but... we were in a very different place, surrounded by the unfamiliar, a place that didn't have flashes of memories attached to every corner.. And this felt good, it gave us a sense.. as false as it was, but a sense of a different reality, one that didn't belong to us, or the past... if that makes any sense...<br />
As much as I enjoyed that feeling, that lightened load from the pain on my heart... it scared me as well. For several solitary moments I actually visualized moving there, away from everything that was back home, everything that reminded me of the past. It made so much sense to me, I could finally understand why people sometimes wanted a fresh start after certain events in their lives. I even replayed different scenarios in my head of how I would live this life here with my boys next to me, and it seemed like a great idea and a beautiful picture in my head...<br />
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But let's face it, the void inside will still be there and so will the pain... so running away from it wont really fix anything, not for long anyways. And as much as I long for the change it's possibly the worse thing for the boys right now. I think the familiar and the routine of their life is what helps them cope with their pain. Speaking of the boys (you all know I don't like discussing their feeling here that much), they are doing ok, I think they will process all this on a different level and at different times in their lives, I don't think they have faced it or dealt with the loss of their father just yet, but they are teen boys and not much on expressing themselves through words. But again being around family, friends and living their lives is whats good for them now.<br />
<br />
As for me, I guess I'm doing ok too, it has been 2 years now, I still see his smiling face every time I close my eyes. I sill miss him terribly and still want to share my last thoughts for the day and still long for his warm embrace... Had an anniversary just a couple of days ago, it would have been 19 years of marriage and a great one! On this subject... I have great memories with him, I think I was a good wife and partner and he was happy with me, I'm glad it was me who took care of him till the last days of his life. I feel in peace about that, but as a woman I still feel very much married and still in love with my husband, who.. yes.. is no longer with us but still very much a part of my life...<br />
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So... I can't really start over, no rewind button either, no erasing the past... not even sure I'd want to... But what we can do is move forward equipped with all the strength this experience has given us. There is no doubt that loosing him did not change me or the boys. We'll never be the same anymore yes, but we can be so much better... These kind of things are usually called life altering because they really are, some people have a hard time surviving and loose their spirit in the chaos of it all... but I'd like to think and have actually noticed myself that the change that this brought to us made us all that much stronger and more importantly more aware of what matters most in life. That big change we search for requires no relocation... it's already happened within us and it makes no difference where we live or what we see and feel every day... we are already living a different life!<br />
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As for Greece... that still remains my happy place and perhaps one day in the future I can call it home...<br />
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Love Peace Joy<br />
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</div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-75454547794495341622011-05-05T08:45:00.000-07:002011-05-05T08:47:19.912-07:00Project "Postcards for Smiles"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Dear friends I'm happy to announce that I'm finally able to launch this project. My mind gave birth to the idea a little later than I would have liked but, we still have two months till my trip to Armenia. With all of your support I'm confident that we can make this a successful fundraiser. So here is the idea behind this beautiful project...<br />
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I will be bringing my late husbands ashes to Armenia this summer, to Etchmiatsin where he studied as a young boy. I want to honor and remember his kind and happy spirit with some charitable deeds. This is where you come in... I have put together some of my better photographs as greeting cards, I've build an online shop where you can view and purchase these lovely gifts, and also read more about the project.<br />
Please spread the word, share this link with friends and family... with great appreciation and a humble heart, I thank you!<br />
<br />
Mari Mansourian<br />
HerThirdEye<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://herthirdeye.myshopify.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://herthirdeye.myshopify.com/</a><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSgl548y8FMzsbulKrpr6n6lQC08uozIgf0bVA3TPjKNKFPXscTjgkznnuzyhd5ZOvwCAXczrJ2xlHt0LDiFLYKQL4VhC9m8YWuj8Yvj8bNmojN9382jUNC7cGvyIfkEjTf-k-jsjM7tk/s1600/IMG_9771_480x343_w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSgl548y8FMzsbulKrpr6n6lQC08uozIgf0bVA3TPjKNKFPXscTjgkznnuzyhd5ZOvwCAXczrJ2xlHt0LDiFLYKQL4VhC9m8YWuj8Yvj8bNmojN9382jUNC7cGvyIfkEjTf-k-jsjM7tk/s400/IMG_9771_480x343_w.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Love.. Peace.. Joy.. </div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div></div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-75611137771538297212011-01-25T09:10:00.000-08:002011-01-25T09:57:03.103-08:00Now is all we have..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Life teaches us many lessons from the time we come into this world to the very last day we breath. With all the lessons comes great knowledge, experience, regret, foresight, patience and most of all understanding. Some lessons are harder to learn and therefore we face them a few more times than we really want to...<br />
<br />
If I've learned anything from the years that are behind me now, is that life.. with all it's beauty and joy can also be a very ugly and painful thing. I've learned that nothing lasts, that all the good and the bad eventually dwindle away and end.. Pure joy and utter pain don't necessarily ever leave but perhaps we just get used to it and become numb as we grow older, and with each experience and lesson we perhaps get tougher, more resilient.. and in the process loose our childish enthusiasm, imagination and curiosity. We accept things with more ease, stop fighting with our inner demons and even take the joyous experiences with a slight smile rather than a hearty laugh..<br />
<br />
In my case... we went from having a comfortable, warm and fuzzy life to a harsh, treacherous, painful existence, surrounded by pain and grief. Surviving days with tears and hardship while barely making it through nights with a cold bed, wet pillows and a longing for warmth.. But as time goes by, and even though the pain is still the same... we've gotten used to it, have built an immunity to grief, and are a bit more numb to everything that comes with life.. I see it in my boys and I feel it deep inside of me..<br />
<br />
Lessons learned?? Still figuring that part out, but the most important lesson I've learned from all this is, like I said.. nothing last forever, happiness can be lost at a moments time, and sadness eventually leaves as well... So at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I will say this... all we have left is NOW! Whatever situation we may find ourselves in, that is all we have, so we may as well laugh whole hearted as well as cry from deep within. This very moment will never repeat, and the joy or pain we feel right now is the very essence of being human, of living our lives.. however long that may be. I think by really submerging ourselves deep into this moment we can say that we are human and at the end of our journey, as we look back at all the miles we've walked... we can say that we've lived... and learned... and experienced all that this life had in store for us..<br />
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And that is a satisfying feeling...</div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-29140904441230604572010-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:002010-10-30T09:33:12.961-07:00just another update<p>Hello dear old friends, it's been a long time since I've put any words on these pages. Have not visited any of you at your corners either, I've missed you all and the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">blogosphere</span>...</p><p>I have however been reading some of my old posts in the recent weeks and have realized what a positive and energetic person I was all throughout this <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">horrible</span> time in our lives. Not to say that I'm a negative person at the moment but, my energy levels are depleting and each day is getting more and more challenging to get through. Now you all know I started this blog to open my heart and mind, express myself through this experience and hopefully help others who may be going through a similar chapter in their lives. I'm sure that is exactly why I was able to handle all that happened and this blog really helped me stay sane...</p><p>So, with that in mind I think it's time for another update on this grief thing we're going through. I guess the old saying is that "time heals all wounds" and "in time things get easier".... Well I think it would be more accurate to say that it gets worse before it gets any better. Of course it's different for every person, and it's different depending on who you've lost. A loss of a child, a parent, a friend, a sibling, a spouse are not at all the same. The pain and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">suffering</span> may be on the same level but the aftermath and all that is required to survive each day is an entirely different path.</p><p>Since I have been fortunate enough not to have lost any other close loved ones, except grandparents from old age and illness, I can only give you guys a perspective from my point of view... one of a widow, one of a person who has lost a husband and a best friend, as well as one of a mother helping her boys through the loss of their father. Not an easy task, but grief is in no way ever easy regardless of who one looses. In our case, loosing him was needless to say very hard but, what makes it so much harder is when we lost him. Of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">course</span> one is never ready to lose a loved one and there is no better time for things like this, but perhaps when we lose an older member of the family, it still hurts but we are comforted by the thought that he or she lived a full life, watched their kids grow, had <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">grandchildren</span>, etc.. and in some way we tend to think life has come full <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">circle</span> and it was their time to go.</p><p>When we lose a younger person, one who <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">still</span> had so much to live for and so much to see and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">experience</span> still... then it's more difficult to find peace with this harsh reality. I can't help but think of all that we still had to do together, and all that he still needed to see, and this hurts me a great deal. Now this tragedy couldn't have happened at a worse time in our boys lives too, they are teens heading into manhood, in great need of their father. I can do all that I can, but will never fill his shoe, and that is a fact, a harsh fact of life that we just need to accept and live with. And in this area I think we're doing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">ok</span>, we are a close family and that is our power against this tough situation.</p><p>Life it would seem is not really fair, we say this all the time and most of the time we don't really think about all that this saying means.. In my case, I was very fortunate to have had a great marriage, and yet it was short lived and ended at a time when we were starting a new chapter in our lives. Our boys were getting older and more independent, we were planning on embarking on a new life, we had big plans and were looking forward to more wonderful years together. So much to live for... But once again, it was short lived, and perhaps it was his time to go, I've come to terms with that now and in some way I'm in peace with it. What the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">challenge</span> is now, is to reboot and come up with a whole new set of dreams and plans that don't include him. This is the hardest part, I still want to live in the past and replay the images on my mind of all the dreams we had for our future. But I can't!</p><p>I need to once again find out who I am without him, what I want from life and the paths I want to take. My boys, their happiness and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">well being</span> is all I can think about. But with the challenges each day I have to face as a single mother, trying to make things better for all of us... it's not an easy task. When you are busy surviving each day, you don't have time to live!</p><p>However I am <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">hopeful</span>, I am after all a pessimistic optimist and there are some rays of sunshine in the horizon.. Thanks for lending an ear once <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">again</span> my friends.</p><p></p><p>peace</p>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-47093559765577230632010-07-15T15:16:00.000-07:002010-07-15T18:05:16.872-07:00the first year without him..<p>How do I begin to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">describe</span> what I'm feeling today?... I don't think it's possible, this day will forever remain the worse day of my life...the day we lost so much. It is a dark day and nothing can be done or said to make this day any different than what it is... We just have to survive through it year after year...<br />It was a year ago today, at 8:38pm when he took his last breath, it was the last day we saw him.. touched and kissed him, the last day I held his hand and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">caressed</span> his forehead. This moment in time we will never forget... our world ended, we stopped breathing...<br />And now, a year has gone by... a long, painful year, filled with so much sadness, endless tears and heartache, and yet somehow we survived that too...<br /></p><p>We've learned so much in the past year...<br />We learned that it takes a lot to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">brake</span> the human spirit, and that the strength that resides within each of us is more powerful then ever imagined..<br />We learned that no matter how sad we are, we can still find a smile on our faces..<br />I learned that love does really survive, it does stay behind and warms the heart forever..<br />We learned that family is possibly the strongest weapon for any grieving person to have..<br />I learned that I can learn a few things from my sons about dealing with sadness..<br />I learned that we don't run out of tears...and that our pillow can quite possibly be the best shoulder at times..<br />I learned that a brand of coffee at the supermarket can make you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">weep</span> like a child, as you run as fast as you can out of there..<br />We learned that there are some people that are on this earth to inspire us, to show us true love and true beauty in life, but that these are the souls that so often leave us so soon..<br />I learned that every time I look at our boys, I see him and this makes me smile as well as cry..<br /></p><p>There is so much that we've learned, felt, experienced and lived the past year. And we are different now, we have changed, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">adapted</span> and evolved to fit into the new life we have...<br />A part of me died with him on this day last year.... but a part of me learned to live...<br />love</p><p></p><p><object style="BACKGROUND-IMAGE: url(http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/5anLPw0Efmo/hqdefault.jpg)" height="295" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5anLPw0Efmo&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5anLPw0Efmo&hl=en_US&fs=1" width="480" height="295" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></p>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-8373279378066443002010-06-29T21:55:00.000-07:002010-06-29T23:01:50.866-07:00his last wish..Went down to our favorite little beach hotel in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Rosarito</span> Mexico this weekend to put <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Gag's</span> ashes in the water, just as he had asked. We've made some great memories there in the past with the family, lots of laughs and good times. Perhaps that's why he requested for this just as he did for part of his ashes to be spread by the 3rd hole at his favorite golf course, which we did <a href="http://mariniksblog.blogspot.com/2009/12/gags-plan.html">some time ago</a>. <div><div></div><div>It felt good to fulfill his last wishes in a way that he would have approved... surrounded by family, with a nice BBQ to follow and a few cold vodka shots.... Many tears were shed by all of us that afternoon, but we had a few laughs as well remembering him and his "full of life" ways...</div><div><br /></div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZlAJuJbdq2ajgzAT4BFPCcfErUX3HmO61LsOXU8PxFtNQDNd0skr0n71SdPXvX8F4fkIkpeGcddwnD5xEY70-kD55UC6wgjEjPVllxhPseYARkqNAo3g5r0laU5lA71aUruB-fQjARME/s1600/IMG_8040.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488426419646298018" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZlAJuJbdq2ajgzAT4BFPCcfErUX3HmO61LsOXU8PxFtNQDNd0skr0n71SdPXvX8F4fkIkpeGcddwnD5xEY70-kD55UC6wgjEjPVllxhPseYARkqNAo3g5r0laU5lA71aUruB-fQjARME/s400/IMG_8040.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488427313429885634" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Gyx4YKs4FqAp9-9HsM1_187a2_t9eWKEy6LTE60rQv0Tm_RVO1RM12JOBd6qPAtE37TckUAN0PLYmuxSHLzzHUJISVQ023vBAWx4m8rlWeyQjHVS7ruBScp1DcSZVMqrkpp1yYbXYxI/s400/IMG_8082.JPG" border="0" /> </div><div></div><div><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488428090476543778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG7i0MpdANfi-0SfM24xT5wpXezrgVvypOD_WO4c_JvwL7vbzqFS_o76y88LOX7_z6Bqpxg5fDDqZmTaa7QqfcbuFsGFzPF7EtOnftQPuTIt-LedW5Zjw7MbeAIzOlbPxLWu0yTc7D2Pg/s400/IMG_8107.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488439021636689890" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3dNz05uqYKRWRQzfNuyQRLdZF0WFG1AGvS9LrnD4dtoBla5ewoPwcnYS_fdTdpoOq6PiQwBgLXT2VgL3eduVwqEnHtr6ftO4lclapKQjRrTzBYtj4XOBPVK4JPRaX9sJBVOENLdoKQq4/s400/IMG_8150.JPG" border="0" /></div></div></div></div><br /><p></p><p>It was a tough weekend, full of emotions, and yet it was very peaceful and soul satisfying... and I'm so glad we were able to do this before the one year anniversary of his death. I hope now that his last wishes have been fulfilled he has found peace, as it has given us some peace now. </p><p>Although this is what he wanted and I am at peace with it...I can't help but feel as though I left a part of my heart behind with his ashes... as they sank into the waves... For us he will always be a part of the water that caresses the sands down in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Baja</span>...</p><p></p><p>Rest in peace my love</p>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-60536709088533063922010-06-22T00:23:00.000-07:002010-07-19T10:33:07.381-07:00feeling brokenI've stopped writing, not so much because I have nothing to share anymore, but mostly because I've been letting my emotions get the better of me. I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">wallow</span> a bit, and let it just subside, and perhaps I got tyred of expressing myself deeply, if that makes any sense.<br /><br />But here I am, once again sulking, drowning in my tears, a day after fathers day.... It was a bad day, and we've had other "special" days that we miss him more than usual, but yesterday was possibly the worse I felt in months. Seeing our boys sitting at dad's grave, looking sad, hurt, somewhat alone and cheated out of life, holding their tears back.... was such a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">painful</span> thing. What can a mother do to make such a pain go away?... With all that I do for them, all the comforting words, and hugs, with all the love that they get from me and our family, nothing...nothing will ever take away that pain they feel inside. They have been broken as we all have and no matter what we do, we will never be able to put ourselves back just right ever again...<br /><br />Broken we are..broken we feel..but we must accept this new norm and try to pull it together as much as possible to live...and live fully, for that's what he would want.<br /><p></p><p>love..</p>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-88906713729033991452010-05-20T08:58:00.001-07:002010-05-20T09:10:43.934-07:00nature<div align="center"> My words fail me lately, so I thought I'd post some images</div><div align="center">I've captured recently. Enjoy :)<br /></div><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473384361631639330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglHmGWD_lHHuSalc43Ks2F9LmEPszuT65oftfBL4jyZGpZbXNvUgC_5dvEgmaSz3v6065wHjv1YlQoNjdv8ufF0n7CQ47NtLUhDH4OLoL4qxovYMeEh6gbt6__gc0jYULfQt2ayskpiAQ/s400/IMG_6375.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473384356583365682" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK-A4RQUXAdV8t13gfLL5LDTIwTqFBi8Lqzu2NSpCP7avVQss3rqHbn3WZiXUhjQ7nxS4NQTBKM5lE3FyngxbxzXZ9-oQBeE1eSCo5tZrL-niq-ly72FifiG_yHxYWRXlprnWsnOtf5og/s400/IMG_6371.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><div> <img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473384348911685682" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwwxjFrpX8eYj5BbqazA4qGghfkdfORlvAL2AoNpdH3mVHWHPwhepgAV-qDkLzlQ38-LY54m0iZKPHn8LF97H9LxMN6oIH_mIjK5tmma99Fr6PUO84oSyWhWyn2z3hnO7ktAGeDhwYJ38/s400/IMG_6368.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473384339891475170" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFTieCOEwBp8YeKn9ARa9uFQqnDo0p9aPzU-ITuq8jRJAXdQO_bp-SaYxzc_6YA-E41GDqZrfB6Lb-6Qmi8OD_0teC4iTHg_UA9IKg5MPnLtrpgZmjzCyGzadd775DNJ2H2mvrK29aPgQ/s400/IMG_6362.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><div>Appreciate nature...</div></div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-23277121226713104312010-05-11T10:13:00.000-07:002010-09-29T14:41:12.102-07:00the human spirit...<div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh29FnbsbqI3ye1sADp8wfBIio3t2ATo5bouQVfgfnkBDlMV6_ehywAQiuoXzX_EzJNAUinEn4W25FGdnNPFQmM1U2vRXJEWiKYpSB7cQzi_ZjLV3iVYqpXKVSdGGwTaBgTHRTM7BQ-6I/s1600/IMG_6030.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470063392487678050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh29FnbsbqI3ye1sADp8wfBIio3t2ATo5bouQVfgfnkBDlMV6_ehywAQiuoXzX_EzJNAUinEn4W25FGdnNPFQmM1U2vRXJEWiKYpSB7cQzi_ZjLV3iVYqpXKVSdGGwTaBgTHRTM7BQ-6I/s400/IMG_6030.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">I witnessed something amazing the other day, </div><div align="center">I saw the beauty and strength of the human spirit.</div><div align="center">This man who has seen 80 years of life zoom by, </div><div align="center">who has loved, laughed and cried <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">through</span> those years, </div><div align="center">who is now terminally ill and nearing the end of his journey...</div><div align="center">Still refuses to fold his hand, </div><div align="center">still willing to take a bite out of life and savor every moment of it.</div><div align="center">Barely able to walk he wanted to dance, and dance he did....</div><div align="center">dominating the dance floor for what seemed a joyful eternity for the wide eyed cheering crowd.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br /></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470063861216566914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHA_6P1ifD4dczgwwmKKODQ7zWPOBc7sRdpnTmPh9tCmbH5PcI6c7oo12I8RsPHWlT6KhXx40K985KISZ4GS1upi2FVvMeIf1Wh7YtUDX574OoTy1VCxghIx8gk7rzXLzl5L0mr_Lw0YI/s400/IMG_6040.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div align="center">He may have Greek and Armenian blood running through his <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">veins</span>..</div><div align="center">But it was the human spirit that is still alive and well deep in his soul that captured my heart....</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">I am inspired....as we all should be!</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">LOVE...PEACE...JOY...</div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-84903959110336197052010-04-29T09:27:00.000-07:002010-09-29T14:48:58.953-07:00a year ago..So I realized the other day that April 3rd marked my one year anniversary in the blogosphere. I guess I've been a bit too busy with all that life has thrown my way lately, and missed that day and the opportunity to have an anniversary blog post. Well, it's been almost a month now, so doing a special post to commemorate the year missed it's turn.<br /><br />However... I feel that perhaps there are a few things I can note about the past year. What a year... I can honestly say-and I have done so in the past- that this corner of mine really did save my sanity in all the darkness we had to endure. When I first started writing here, my husband was fighting the battle with his illness already and in the months that followed, with all the pain and the ugliness that cancer brought to our lives.... we shared many happy moments. There was a lot of love and joy still residing in our home, and I'm so glad that I was able to share those moments with all of you here and in some way writing about all of it eased the experience for me and gave me a place to not only document that time in our lives, but also created a place to look back on. The pages here hold so much love, sadness, pain, joy, beauty... in other words life...our life, the last moments of his life... and no matter how painful it can be for us to flip through these pages at times, it still fills our hearts with joy and warmth... The kind words that all of you gave me also warms my heart, those very words kept me going so many times, on so many days where my strength was running low, you guys gave me strength and hope...and for all of that I am so thankful. This corner of mine shared by all of you DID save my sanity and my life, I am the person still standing here today because of you... because of the love you all showed me..<br /><br />In fact, as I sit here this windy morning in LA, looking at the photo in front of me on my desk of my husband and I... all the memories we made together are rushing through my head. We have a great many... we did a lot together, saw many things, felt so much, experienced a lifetime together... I am so grateful for that...<br /><br />Here's whats going through my mind now... let's sit for a moment, get a pen and paper and write down all the things we've done in our lives so far. All the things we are proud of and the things we've done that we are not so proud of, write down all the big and little things we've achieved, the greatness we've shown at times as well as the ugly and bad things we've done. All the beauty we've seen, all that we've felt, all we've experienced... Think about it... how many times do we really sit back and replay our lives in our head... not many. Most of us think back on our lives at the end of the road, on our way out, and hope that it was a full life, one that doesn't give us too many regrets. But what if we can do this on our path, as we are walking it in stead of at the end of it... For one thing, we can see that we have lived so far, that we have had many experiences, good and bad, and that all we've seen and done has brought us here, and for that we should be thankful. However... if the life we see behind us feels empty and unfulfilled... perhaps we can open our eyes and our hearts a bit more, and let life penetrate our days. Perhaps by seeing on paper what we have or have not done yet.. will push us into living a fuller life... and maybe we will be more open to experiencing things that come our way... huh maybe it's time to make a bucket list...<br /><br />Time to live our lives to the fullest.... so... let's let life penetrate our days...<br /><br />love...peace...joy...Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-69676179157865175372010-04-24T11:47:00.000-07:002010-04-24T16:07:31.822-07:001915<div align="center"><strong>THEIR STORIES WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN...</strong><br /><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5CLYTVGRu03pN_93d7FrolCdZ3m3kDaQYFKRKmZ4BW5iUPc4Q4ahE3AdEzmY-YgM1SHbTCseDVWPVW5SfntVSgfWddryDZuWcTwfGsz45HZMYKVePawzBvzp3SYZItPm_A-ijblOqF0E/s1600/Hagopian_Kristine.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463777809916000674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5CLYTVGRu03pN_93d7FrolCdZ3m3kDaQYFKRKmZ4BW5iUPc4Q4ahE3AdEzmY-YgM1SHbTCseDVWPVW5SfntVSgfWddryDZuWcTwfGsz45HZMYKVePawzBvzp3SYZItPm_A-ijblOqF0E/s400/Hagopian_Kristine.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />We already had been deported once, in 1915, sent towards Der-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Zor</span>. But, my uncle’s friend had connections in the government and he had us ordered back to Izmir. Orders came again that everyone must gather in front of the Armenian church to be deported. My father refused to go and told us not to worry. He <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">didn</span>’t think the Turkish government would do anything to him since he was a government employee himself. Twelve Turkish soldiers and an official came very early the next morning. We were still asleep. They dragged us out in our nightgowns and lined us up against the living room wall. Then the official ordered my father to lie down on the ground… they are, dirty the Turks… very dirty… I can’t say what they did to him. They raped him! Raped! Just like that. Right in front of us. And that official made us watch. He whipped us if we turned away. My mother lost consciousness and fell to the floor. Afterwards, we <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">couldn</span>’t find our father. My mother looked for him frantically. He was in the attic, trying to hang himself. Fortunately, my mother found him before it was too late. My father did eventually kill himself-later, after we escaped.<br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/terzian.html"></a><br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/kadorian.html"></a><br />Kristine <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Hagopian</span> b. 1906, Smyrna<br />(MY GRANDMOTHER)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463778190785772754" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 350px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 362px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyhiP5eQEGnHo5sohkFS28tD9Fi73j1kTNIZ8HKHau4k6Fg0myrws3Bg1mR4zNy4VQLnJwZ3oCMF5UgenWNhBPF_jAc3H4x-ky3guLSI-P3qXUP81IHdxtA1vmsA0f_qoOBJAd8rMfcjQ/s400/Kadorian_Sam.jpg" border="0" /><br />They took us from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Hüsenig</span>, to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Mezre</span>, to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Kharpert</span> to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Malatia</span> and then, after a couple of days walk, to the shores of the Euphrates River. It was around noon when we got there and we camped. For a while, we were left alone. Sometime later, Turkish gendarmes came over and grabbed all the boys from 5 to 10 years old. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">wasa</span> bout 7 or 8. They grabbed me too. They threw us all into a pile on the sandy beach and started jabbing us with their swords and bayonets. I must’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ve</span> been in the center because only one sword got me…nipped my cheek… here, my cheek. But, I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">couldn</span>’t cry. I was covered with blood from the other bodies on top of me, but I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">couldn</span>’t cry. If had, I would not be here today.When it was getting dark, my grandmother found me. She picked me up and consoled me. It hurt so much. I was crying and she put me on her shoulder and walked around. Then, some of the other parents came looking for their children. They mostly found dead bodies. The river bank there was very sandy. Some of them dug graves with their bare hands, shallow graves and tried to bury their children in them. Others, just pushed them into the river, they pushed them into the Euphrates. Their little bodies floated away.<br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/hagopian.html"></a><br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/bogharian.html"></a><br />Sam <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Kadorian</span> b. 1907, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Hüsenig</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Kharpert</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><p></p><br /><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463779751124904258" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 350px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 362px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgemnso_RWCwx7oAYQ2dseAX2tuNw2CjI4Zmx570oNb5C4csJ9lo6pEoRzZ5C-KccUJ6FyH-vTTar3yVyaewYcU7c2erCji1Su4XqN9f5pcHkdPxgbNKILlwf34UsnRVPNEaqohRrJtkGg/s400/Bedigian_Edward.jpg" border="0" /></p><br /><p>There was a girl, a girl whom I had befriended on the road earlier. Her name was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Satenig</span>. I remember her very well. She was not too strong. I saw her again in that basement. In the basement of the school where they had thrown us. She was there. She had a little bit of money and she gave it to me. “Don’t let them <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">takeme</span>,” she said. “Don’t let them take me.” They would come around everyday and take whomever was dead or very weak. She was not in good shape, she was very weak. I stood her up and leaned on her. Held her up, so. They came. I was holding her up, leaning her up against the wall. But they saw her and took her… took her…<br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/missakian.html"></a><br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/terzian.html"></a><br />Edward <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Bedikian</span> b. 1902, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Sepasdia</span> </p><p><br /></p><br /><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463780793363512642" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 350px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 347px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgygMGcpsnPy-L4-KCqNR_huud0QH2FjSOToSnBcWwJR9IJ7w6Y2LJe0G6jnOMqRsqu-vVqiDYkPNN9-sO_e8PKJQHtT3l4mDDPdjbEanDzjD_RcgGCmX3FMNm99zX6eo88xSQXjb2JnW0/s400/Bahadourian_Bedros.jpg" border="0" /><br />When the massacres began, I was 12 years old. I remember, they first took all the men of our village and killed them. The rest of us were deported. I don’t know how many hundreds we were. Everyone according to his ability rented a donkey or a horse and we left. We went from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Albistan</span> to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Zeitun</span> to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Marash</span> to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Aintab</span>. We camped on a farm behind <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Aintab</span> College, near some newly dug foundations for houses. They were simply large holes in the ground. You understand? An epidemic had broken out in our caravan and people were dying all around us. They started filling those foundations with their dead bodies. Two, three, four, five bodies on top of each other. From <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Aintab</span>, orders came that everyone over the age of 12 was to be sent to Der-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Zor</span>. A friend of mine and I escaped, but we were caught later and this time they sent us to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Bizib</span> and then toward <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Biredjig</span>. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Biredjig</span> is on the shores of the Euphrates. You understand? It is on the other side of the river. We stayed in a khan (an inn) on this side. Caravans would come through there and be sent off toward the desert, hundreds and hundreds of Armenians. We used to see dead, bloated bodies floating in the river.<br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/pournazian.html"></a><br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/abajian.html"></a><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Bedros</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Bahadourian</span> b. 1902, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Gürün</span> </p><p><br /></p><br /><p></p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463781261657026258" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 350px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 359px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixqoYhyup88cyrJ7r2ZxHy9a2RqdnNAh54D9p0tYwnOtLfdUtJm_g_DliYsMcmIlrXWyiu7rjiPZ0UEt8zeRw8-nfkLwvdlu06XyyQPxTkMlwAHkMzMLzJdAYzJZGFTcbrgOa7tM0Z3pE/s400/Abajian_Sion.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p>The crowds were huge in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Meskeneh</span>. We were in the middle of a vast sandy area and the Armenians there were from all over, not only from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Marash</span>. We had no water and gendarmes would not give us any. There were only two gendarmes for that huge crowd. Just two. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Wasn</span>’t there a single man among us who could have killed them? We were going to die anyway. Why did we obey those two gendarmes so sheepishly? The word was that from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Meskeneh</span>, we were going to be deported to Der-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Zor</span>. My father had brought along a tent that was black on one side and white on the other. Each time gendarmes approached us to send another group to Der-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Zor</span>, my father would move the tent. He would pitch it on the other side of the crowd—as far <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">awayas</span> possible. We were constantly moving. He bought us quite a bit of time that way. Eventually, we crossed the Euphrates River to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Rakka</span> where we found an abandoned house—with no doors or windows—and we squatted there. But we still had no food. We used to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">eatgrass</span>. We used to pick grains from animal waste, wash them and then in tin cans <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">frythem</span> to eat. We used to say: “Oh, mommy, if we ever go back to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Marash</span>, just give us fried wheat and it will be enough.<br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/bahadourian.html"></a><br /><a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Web_pages/Survivors/baronian.html"></a><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Sion</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Abajian</span> b. 1908, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">Marash</span><br /><br />More eye witness stories .... <a href="http://www.genocideproject.net/Home_page.html">http://www.genocideproject.net/Home_page.html</a></p><p></p><p></p>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-15313524943180629442010-04-15T00:02:00.000-07:002010-04-15T00:11:16.917-07:00I remember YOU..<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkTwJXAeRFWvCV43NEdvXwIJDMH6iPkbGD_g10-l2MfZq7VEXIeXKfU5_5NFPIj2g1JwiG1wl74p6vWWOqcKuj2PIhFtWLvjVGJwnQbtG7ZwaUAe9P0IrMEFI9zpF2A3HqrZXLsu08wlU/s1600/scan0001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5460256499668272210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 281px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkTwJXAeRFWvCV43NEdvXwIJDMH6iPkbGD_g10-l2MfZq7VEXIeXKfU5_5NFPIj2g1JwiG1wl74p6vWWOqcKuj2PIhFtWLvjVGJwnQbtG7ZwaUAe9P0IrMEFI9zpF2A3HqrZXLsu08wlU/s400/scan0001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><p align="center">I remember nine months ago today you looked into my eyes for the last time..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember how the smile on your face never drowned in the pain.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember the love in your eyes when you hugged our boys..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember the kisses you blew from across the room..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember your trembling hands reaching out to me, when you wanted me near..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember how you loved our long talks.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember when you'd hold my hand as we walked.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember your laugh, your smile, and even your mischievous grin.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember your tender fingers as they caressed my face.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember how you loved to savor each moment.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember the smile on your face as you watched our boys play..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember how you held them so carefully when they were just babies..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember seeing your eyes tear up watching sad movies.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember your warm hugs and how you held me tight when I needed comfort..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember how you made me laugh and loved it when I smiled.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember your sweet kisses that sent butterflies fluttering.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember how much we laughed the day we said "I do"..</p><p align="center"><br />I remember when you whispered.. "I love you" for the first time.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember everything.. </p><p align="center"><br />I remember YOU.. </p><p align="center"> </p><p align="center"><br /><br />My heart is yours forever..</p>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-37400455880499674872010-04-11T07:06:00.000-07:002010-04-11T08:37:18.221-07:00I'd choose this path again...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZMv25e0XdUV7DN_agmCva7PBQU1VbR-gXwjy0ZNXq1CIvuHuRn05NCG1FAuoFfpNoTg2jsxR3_h8hIsfNbL5GumYaoERm_3fH0jaKXc-oBMA6eQUUsQzF2w-5wSwLs-UriAKKjGu_Utk/s1600/IMG_3850.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZMv25e0XdUV7DN_agmCva7PBQU1VbR-gXwjy0ZNXq1CIvuHuRn05NCG1FAuoFfpNoTg2jsxR3_h8hIsfNbL5GumYaoERm_3fH0jaKXc-oBMA6eQUUsQzF2w-5wSwLs-UriAKKjGu_Utk/s400/IMG_3850.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5458899524816949122" border="0" /></a><br />Today is April 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span>, this date may mean something special for some, maybe a birthday or anniversary, and for others it's just another number on the calendar. For me though it's not only a special date, one that will always remain in my heart and in my memories, but this date signifies an important turning point in my life. On this date nineteen years ago, I realized that something special was happening, I knew I had found a deep connection with someone, that true love had found me. Nineteen years ago today... I found myself walking on clouds, this was the day we first kissed and the rest as they say is history...<br /><br />It's funny actually, I don't remember the exact date we met, or of our first date, but I remember this one, this was the day we both realized that we were in love and that our search was over.... We had a nice lunch down at the beach, talked forever sitting on the sand as the sun set, I guess the moment was perfect, and as unromantic of a person as I am, I must admit it was very romantic. I don't think we could wipe the grin off our faces from that day on, and I can't help but smile even now as I think back on that very moment. I am most certainly a fortunate person for having felt that and for having such memories that put a smile on my face...<br /><br />This may sound very strange, but I've had people ask me if I regret anything in life, and I know exactly what they are asking me, I don't really blame them. We humans are a very curious sort, people want to know exactly what and how I'm feeling deep down, they want to know if this experience, this pain has made me think and wonder about some decisions I've made in my life...<br />Well, here's the truth of it... I regret nothing, how can I regret a decision that has brought me so much happiness in my life, that has filled it with so much love? Every moment we spent together was full and every memory I have of him gives me warmth and a smile... Would I rather not have known him? Would I rather missed out on all the love and joy and in turn not have all this pain now?... NO... I choose this pain, and I would choose this life over and over again, because it was worth it, he was worth it... The only part of all this that gives me the greatest pain, is seeing our boys grow up without a dad..<br /><br />But look... we can not look at ourselves as unfortunate people, or that our fate was of such sadness, that the road to our destiny led us to this point, and that life dealt us a bad hand.. No, I tell people all the time who look at us with such sad eyes, and feel sorry for us... I tell them that we are fortunate to have had and loved him, our boys had an amazing father, one that showed them how to be strong men, how to love and live a full life. They have an entire library of memories and examples they can pull from when they need to cross a path in their lives, he will be with them every step of the way, by recalling his actions and the way he lived his life, they too will grow up to be wonderful people, such that he would be proud of... as for me, well I do consider myself fortunate. I could have married someone else yes, and perhaps not have found myself as a widow at 41, but would I have had such a great marriage, such a great life, with so much love?<br />I doubt that... we were soul mates and as sad as it is to have had such a short run, it warms my heart to know that it was a great run. And believe me this thought never crosses my mind, I never wonder about how or what could have been, and I find it very strange that people actually do ask, perhaps those are the ones who have not found the kind of happiness we have.<br /><br />Yes that's right we may be hurting, and our souls are a bit broken and we can never really mend those cracks, and the pain will never go away completely either, but his presence in our hearts and minds makes us happy people, so full of life and love...if only we had him just for a bit longer....<br /><br />I choose this pain over not ever knowing him... I'm glad we kissed that afternoon nineteen years ago sitting on the warm sand, and though my tears flow now as I write .... I would not have had it any other way... I would take this path over and over again...even knowing the outcome, because the journey would be worth it..<br /><br /><br />love...peace...joy...Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-78284485286941598672010-03-26T19:35:00.000-07:002010-03-26T21:09:42.164-07:00LIVE...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYwSPt-tbM1YeeMv49yruxBxDDBtTaqORVEQMBiaZCxHiw9FTvZau5cfDixFRMprkxEZwl-Vz6-zcZx-okCBHO5sOqJlRw6kB8hodHSK0DwXNvbpl-XUR6-7AHlFr-suPvdHk72xWDeQ4/s1600/IMG_2115.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYwSPt-tbM1YeeMv49yruxBxDDBtTaqORVEQMBiaZCxHiw9FTvZau5cfDixFRMprkxEZwl-Vz6-zcZx-okCBHO5sOqJlRw6kB8hodHSK0DwXNvbpl-XUR6-7AHlFr-suPvdHk72xWDeQ4/s400/IMG_2115.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453137976159847090" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br />see what's in front of you,<br />as well as beyond..<br /><br />listen with your heart...<br /><br />feel deeply...<br /><br />smile with your eyes...<br /><br />speak the truth..<br /><br />taste with your eyes closed...<br /><br />touch with your fingertips...<br /><br />have peace in your mind...<br /><br />show kindness...<br /><br />give love...<br /></div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-61771800046421792242010-03-17T09:58:00.000-07:002010-03-19T09:30:55.672-07:00always with us...Hello friends, I've been a bit absent from here...don't feel much like writing lately, too much going on. In case you are wondering, we are doing ok, dealing with the usual ups and downs of this path, of life really...something everyone is faced with through their journey. Little bit of joy, some sadness, a few great moments here and there, sometimes tears of happiness, sometimes of sadness, mix in some love and laughter and that is LIFE in a nutshell...<br />I'm getting sort of used to the peeks and crashes that roll from one day to the next, I guess us humans adapt to everything eventually, it is what it is.... But I guess that's the beauty of life...what did Forrest Gump say?... "Life is like a box of chocolates"?.... which is not really a bad thing :)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_R5ZUkEXHUuLWyv0mBKexfzqVEmb2mxRkQLQRA8aABQjxti1LiPdBNOriuzKuri2IK2zdGLDHWLPo9qx6A_vlhxR0xZQULhJGUUSoo2tRlo3u49ul3xt2jKafe5xspimR3jAIKrP9mYk/s1600-h/IMG_2593.JPG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_R5ZUkEXHUuLWyv0mBKexfzqVEmb2mxRkQLQRA8aABQjxti1LiPdBNOriuzKuri2IK2zdGLDHWLPo9qx6A_vlhxR0xZQULhJGUUSoo2tRlo3u49ul3xt2jKafe5xspimR3jAIKrP9mYk/s400/IMG_2593.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5449663434875604130" border="0" /></a><br />I have to tell you, it's hard letting go of someone so special nor do we want to, or we should.... it's funny I still have his toothbrush next to mine by the sink, see it every morning and every night. Is it the false sense of comfort that I want to feel, is it there still because for that brief second my eyes see it, I can fool myself into thinking that he is still with us?... All his colognes are there still, sitting next to mine on the vanity, collecting dust... The other day I thought I'd clean them up a bit, picked one up and the scent hit my nose and I realized just how much I miss him... had a good cry session for the next hour or so, that's ok too, need that at times...<br /><br />Should we hang on to a few things that remind us of his presence or absence? Or should we remove everything?.... There is no answer to these questions, these items are still there because they just are... I haven't made an effort to remove them or to leave them be, and whether they are there for our eyes to see or not, makes no difference really... Because he is gone and yet he is still with us, we may not see him or be able to touch him or even feel his presence, but he is there.... he is in our hearts, in our memories, in our words, our thoughts, in the boys faces and their actions as well.... He will always be with us because he is so much a part of who we are...<br /><br />And after days, weeks, months and years have passed, the toothbrush and the colognes will be gone, the few pieces of his clothes that I've hung on to because they still smell like him, will loose their scent and also be gone... but it's his memory and all the things that made him who he was and is will still remain. He will still be part of our conversations, the spark behind our laughter, the reason for our tears... with us, through us he will live on....<br />These are the thoughts that help me wipe my tears away and put a smile on my face...<br /><br />Thanks again for lending an ear...<br /><br />love...peace...and joy to you my friendsMari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-91694064033956263112010-03-10T09:18:00.001-08:002010-03-10T09:38:09.818-08:00corner view... miniature worlds<div style="text-align: center;">This weeks corner view is "miniature worlds"...<br />Here is my son's little world of LEGO's<br />(we had so much fun setting these guys up for their photo shoot :)<br /><br />stop by <a href="http://spaindaily.blogspot.com/">Jane's</a> for more corner views<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ15wM_1I8d56uOTzE0Jg_ewwhrDFxDw7EDXKzQaN3tlwnZSQeiWGrybBSNijEbLWEcpV6BkqXofmhlb1UZyaj_YgVctF66lb6JHqnFYDkPFzmiz5pOfYehy_8gGe6mqFA3ghSSB4WArU/s1600-h/IMG_2482a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ15wM_1I8d56uOTzE0Jg_ewwhrDFxDw7EDXKzQaN3tlwnZSQeiWGrybBSNijEbLWEcpV6BkqXofmhlb1UZyaj_YgVctF66lb6JHqnFYDkPFzmiz5pOfYehy_8gGe6mqFA3ghSSB4WArU/s400/IMG_2482a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447059154950244802" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodqvFRSBEm1WTooYFpAyx7QV6CPON2woOE1oV5gGY1iwqmRDkYQQS4te8eOoFj6_m4EDo_vkuqFVWop-wzuzL5Tti8nERECIIWd7tWkr9p3BAIUwvZom7pXirfFxKNNrFHYjLM4dDq9U/s1600-h/IMG_2484a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodqvFRSBEm1WTooYFpAyx7QV6CPON2woOE1oV5gGY1iwqmRDkYQQS4te8eOoFj6_m4EDo_vkuqFVWop-wzuzL5Tti8nERECIIWd7tWkr9p3BAIUwvZom7pXirfFxKNNrFHYjLM4dDq9U/s400/IMG_2484a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447058971450809282" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHH1umjZ4R1zayfdO_aNGIbW_K2zSsd502OmsHvH1fhamcB1esHRFZoWPvlJ1_FtncG9DcFXrNH47Y7on41-U9_DyEgTNm_sJSrIyhsWpxCRDWFmPC_UqF5lL5ycXV5IkYfmlHGNWHvA/s1600-h/IMG_2498a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHH1umjZ4R1zayfdO_aNGIbW_K2zSsd502OmsHvH1fhamcB1esHRFZoWPvlJ1_FtncG9DcFXrNH47Y7on41-U9_DyEgTNm_sJSrIyhsWpxCRDWFmPC_UqF5lL5ycXV5IkYfmlHGNWHvA/s400/IMG_2498a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447058731380042242" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ-SQO6SVARv0pf91YaA12tiuhZsj3Mb6E3mzEh88VnU2dkSRZaKM_ZdHh6TQUOwVANNoAOuFg7pA3gMd6Vo1Qm_iHkFoTgFSipueYs7cGMw10H2DM9CTARWnTHGDnamm1eYGJV1MksPU/s1600-h/IMG_2501a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ-SQO6SVARv0pf91YaA12tiuhZsj3Mb6E3mzEh88VnU2dkSRZaKM_ZdHh6TQUOwVANNoAOuFg7pA3gMd6Vo1Qm_iHkFoTgFSipueYs7cGMw10H2DM9CTARWnTHGDnamm1eYGJV1MksPU/s400/IMG_2501a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447058502075977154" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiVEVDKdxa9htiyKTjgTprqe93X5rj43qqhUcgkM1kGspOyRL789chZDDgdazIfVtcpL-THu81pFvNwodFk_X59XdpYON2JzxcRlzStNt4DWuZOAgjTbUmHTCTGcLqg4F9OPAD5GnQCN0/s1600-h/IMG_2503a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiVEVDKdxa9htiyKTjgTprqe93X5rj43qqhUcgkM1kGspOyRL789chZDDgdazIfVtcpL-THu81pFvNwodFk_X59XdpYON2JzxcRlzStNt4DWuZOAgjTbUmHTCTGcLqg4F9OPAD5GnQCN0/s400/IMG_2503a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5447058321231651394" border="0" /></a><br /><br />have fun hopping around the world for corner views...<br /><br /><br />peaceMari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-7491085490598210672010-02-24T07:05:00.000-08:002010-02-24T07:31:29.025-08:00corner view..."street photography"This weeks corner view is street photography, so I decided to dig up some old photos from past travels and share with you guys... enjoy and stop by <a href="http://spaindaily.blogspot.com/2010/02/corner-view-street-photography.htm">Jane's</a> for more corner views.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeeWb9NC2YWm7Jr65jHG-5xLhnvYxzl_fQ-THoMh4GnstBU0_rkaEnxO4sKltBoRHoPV_KlHhrWlZCPRH8DO1ZY3dyijKCU0RfsSa8G0e4rWEE88hji1R4gjAJnpbP-LMy7xGyM7MNYrM/s1600-h/scan0004.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeeWb9NC2YWm7Jr65jHG-5xLhnvYxzl_fQ-THoMh4GnstBU0_rkaEnxO4sKltBoRHoPV_KlHhrWlZCPRH8DO1ZY3dyijKCU0RfsSa8G0e4rWEE88hji1R4gjAJnpbP-LMy7xGyM7MNYrM/s400/scan0004.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441830128249204482" border="0" /></a><br />street corner, Mexico 1990<br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWQAHYMC7He0NrWOziMq0-BqU-3m5dTQJQXGd5jcRh5jfdBI60Oa62ry7pYzTbLhn48wIX29a4mveJ2XVTO3GUvyCDpkwWeteFmPk4vsYRCPdClonIKHn3ZhYtMKdx8RYgj4DXa83OWWY/s1600-h/scan0008.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 282px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWQAHYMC7He0NrWOziMq0-BqU-3m5dTQJQXGd5jcRh5jfdBI60Oa62ry7pYzTbLhn48wIX29a4mveJ2XVTO3GUvyCDpkwWeteFmPk4vsYRCPdClonIKHn3ZhYtMKdx8RYgj4DXa83OWWY/s400/scan0008.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441830052820073442" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">near the Opera House, Armenia 2006<br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOUt8aBUoh7O_6zxsqgAraY8_jEwALiyGHkqyDCY7HX98SDHZC9wd4uNv2jZE6ItktS8SNK-9O8CpgktG1EGTz3MHfV0Y7GMqGFdjUhe4BJ9DO-nuZvi72gJrytL1K61jhyphenhyphenFvaXnXUUT4/s1600-h/scan0013.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 259px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOUt8aBUoh7O_6zxsqgAraY8_jEwALiyGHkqyDCY7HX98SDHZC9wd4uNv2jZE6ItktS8SNK-9O8CpgktG1EGTz3MHfV0Y7GMqGFdjUhe4BJ9DO-nuZvi72gJrytL1K61jhyphenhyphenFvaXnXUUT4/s400/scan0013.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441829502307159170" border="0" /></a><br />country road, Armenia 2006<br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQuRhyG2XS-WRJBjlW8S330tzWmXFw9rARmsDPUMHmBlWmNr1XfbvxyhL4WMF3FlALJRGaOfu50wkUDEh-r8PJyGwGMFYg5SN_EwABO3g1F8uSv6ThO5te5mJ1EqIYn3PGKBBVUuIOQM/s1600-h/scan0012.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 311px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjQuRhyG2XS-WRJBjlW8S330tzWmXFw9rARmsDPUMHmBlWmNr1XfbvxyhL4WMF3FlALJRGaOfu50wkUDEh-r8PJyGwGMFYg5SN_EwABO3g1F8uSv6ThO5te5mJ1EqIYn3PGKBBVUuIOQM/s400/scan0012.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441826693552458354" border="0" /></a><br />busy Paris, 2002<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE1RIPTzBE_Hl2wvhauYpWCO-27v3lZAxiXgXlPR2ZcJV5IG2WE5PXakvtw17VYIL4064N7keT33czaM23K2lqIZn04L-lAXVkgbP0S-BGa5NMdOVBkVwc4xy3DGaeWF-2Lrg7A8JBqqA/s1600-h/scan0011.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 289px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE1RIPTzBE_Hl2wvhauYpWCO-27v3lZAxiXgXlPR2ZcJV5IG2WE5PXakvtw17VYIL4064N7keT33czaM23K2lqIZn04L-lAXVkgbP0S-BGa5NMdOVBkVwc4xy3DGaeWF-2Lrg7A8JBqqA/s400/scan0011.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441826582838331986" border="0" /></a><br /><br />a corner view from my window, Rome 1995<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">enjoy hopping around corner views today :)<br /><br /><br />love...peace...joy...<br /></div></div>Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-64591310812191756792010-02-23T10:51:00.001-08:002010-02-23T11:39:58.733-08:00who we are today...Now I know most of you have thought about this too, must have crossed your mind at one point or another in your lives. Perhaps something small on a given day makes you think of someone in your past, or a situation you are faced with brings back memories of people that have impacted your life in some way. An old friend, someone you loved, an experience you had a long time ago.... a kind word from a loved one, a good bit of advice someone gave you, an acquaintance who is long gone or even a stranger you exchanged some words with....people who have touched your heart or spoke to your soul... some who hold a special place in your heart...<br /><br />When we do think back and reflect, we see that every one of those people who have come and gone, or are still part of our lives, who we were fortunate to find or come in contact with... all hold a deep connection in our hearts. Some were important stepping stones to the person we are today. And we realize that most of these people, we were meant to cross paths with in order to grow, to learn, to laugh, to cry, to feel, to experience, to hurt, to love, to make us think, to open our eyes.... in other words to create the layers that make up the whole person we are...<br /><br />This is an ongoing process of this thing called life... it is not over yet by any means, we will still meet people who will touch us, show us something new to discover, share words still not spoken, make us feel things not felt yet.... And our heart will grow ever more to hold more memories, our souls will get deeper, our wisdom stronger.... as the saying goes... "we live and learn"... till the day we close our eyes forever...<br /><br />We honor those long gone who have touched us, and meant so much to us by thinking of them, by remembering the things we've learned and felt through them, but what of the people that are still with us, or the ones we've lost contact with. I think if any one person has made an impact in our lives, or holds that special place in our hearts... they need to know that in some small way they still live in us, with us, through us. We should tell them.... perhaps today they need to hear it...they need to know that they are special to someone out there, that they put a small brick in the foundation of someones life.... tell them, think of them, thank them, honor them....<br /><br />So, here's to all that is yet to come, to all the hearts and souls that will touch us and be touched by us.... all that still remains to be learned and seen, to be felt and experienced...all still to look forward to...<br /><br /><br />love...peace...joy...Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5825214276791029565.post-40115440997488253772010-02-18T11:13:00.000-08:002010-02-18T20:08:43.815-08:00if i had a time machine...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGMno1wF3yPhnsS-dgknJnV52KznSXt-BK3w_YG-INF5DFnBjkM8iSlDVHQSzVOk6qllG-hcOPpZcf-_IRiK0XLPRkBw-RYiPqnxDPlNmyiAFfrP8soOkxgML3KaXcgWL2cOBxCZSVVQU/s1600-h/charlie-chaplin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 373px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGMno1wF3yPhnsS-dgknJnV52KznSXt-BK3w_YG-INF5DFnBjkM8iSlDVHQSzVOk6qllG-hcOPpZcf-_IRiK0XLPRkBw-RYiPqnxDPlNmyiAFfrP8soOkxgML3KaXcgWL2cOBxCZSVVQU/s400/charlie-chaplin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439679283188541202" border="0" /></a><br />I had a very interesting conversation with the boys some time ago... about who we would want to meet if we had a time machine and could go back in time. They had some interesting input on the subject... Arman, my oldest wants to meet <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bob Marley</span>, he loves the music that the man put out. Robert was interesting in meeting <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bill Gates</span> when he was a kid...he thought that would be "cool" as he put it...<br />So, that got me thinking about who I would want to meet from the past and have a conversation with. Here is a short list of people that came to mind...<br /><br />First person I would go see is my maternal great grandmother, I would love to give her a piece of my mind for abandoning her three little children during the Armenian Genocide, after their father was killed. She ran off with a British soldier just to save her own ass... excuse my French... I mean a mother doesn't do that, so yes I'm pretty sore about that. Actually my father is writing a book about this, so far it's amazing and wow I had no idea my dad had it in him to write so well...anyways I'll let you guys know how that turns out.<br /><br />Others from the past that I think would be pretty cool to meet would be, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mesrop</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mashtots</span> he wrote the Armenian alphabet. I'd love to exchange a few words with <span style="font-weight: bold;">Charlie Chaplin</span>, I think he was pretty brilliant. Maybe have a drink or two with <span style="font-weight: bold;">Modigliani</span>, go see <span style="font-weight: bold;">Beethoven</span> perform. Maybe sit in during one of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Plato's</span> philosophical conversations... go get a manicure with <span style="font-weight: bold;">Marilyn Manroe</span>, how cool would that be. And I would also like to meet <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bob Marley.</span><br /><br />I'm sure I could think of so many more amazing people that I'd love to meet, but these are just the few off the top of my head.... So, who would you guys want to meet...tell us will you :)<br /><br />Have a great day you guys...<br /><br /><br />love...peace...joy...Mari Mansourianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06003885344370531557noreply@blogger.com7