Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I've been contemplating about this post, wondering if I should write it or not. It's a touchy subject, most people don't like talking about it with others, it's the sort of thing that you discuss with close family, if that...But I have shared many deep and intimate issues with all of you, so perhaps this is something that needs to be covered as well...as this too is a part of the path I find myself on right now...

Most of you know from previous posts, about our shop, and I may have mentioned on several occasions that business has been on a steady decline for a couple of years now. This is mostly why I decided to get my culinary degree and possibly do something different. My husband used to think that the industry is slowly dying and it was time to venture out into a different one. Well since his death, now seven months ago.. things have been going worse at the shop, I've tried with many failed attempts to keep it afloat, but it would seem that it's a very heavy, fast sinking ship. I haven't given up on it yet, he invested so much of his life in this place and I want to do all I can to keep it going, even if it means getting into more and more dept, I owe him and our hard working employees that much... So, we'll see..I have a few more projects to give the business a new life with and I hope these wont fail miserably as the others did.

Let me get to my point here without putting any of you to sleep... What I want to talk about here today is the subject of money, of possibly better and smarter thinking about your future and the future of your loved ones. Now, mind you we didn't throw money on senseless things nor did we save, the business needed a constant reinvestment of our funds and we worked hard to establish something that could grow and be our security blanket for our future and our children's future as well...not a very smart strategy I know...but hey that was us and to a certain extent we had a pretty modest yet comfortable life...But life as it seems is never safe, there are no guarantees, none of us really have a secure future if you think about it... But I think there is one sure way we can at least do something for our families that may give them some sort of a security blanket in the future...after we are gone... If you don't already have life insurance, please get it now, as soon as possible, it is probably the best investment you can make in your life...
Now..I know what you are thinking.... yes...no amount of money can replace your loved one, but let me tell you, what is worse than grieving for the loss of someone so important in your life, is going through this grief with the stress and burden of financial hardship. It makes for a very difficult situation... Now I'm not writing this so you can worry about me, or feel sorry or pity me. That is not me, I refuse to be pitied or to feel weak, nor would I ever give up hope. I have an amazing family that supports me in every way possible, and I do have faith in myself, I know that I will get through this as well, and as my husband used to say... this too shall pass...I just want you guys to think about it, ask yourselves this question..."If I'm gone tomorrow, how will my family live, are they secure enough to at least get through the hard times?".... Just something to think about...

On that note, today I invested in my children's future and the future of their children... Life is not safe, we don't know what awaits us tomorrow or the next day... So, yes..we live each day as if it's our last, we love fully, laugh a lot and give joy to our loved ones...and in the process we also need to give them a warm blanket for when they will need it most.... We live and learn, and hopefully correct the mistakes we've made in the years past...

love...peace...and joy...


  1. Mari, I'm curious. What kind of business do you own?

    I just heard a wonderful culinary school success story. A woman with four young children, all under the age of six, found herself a single mom with no job skills. She went to culinary school, graduated with honors and is now the owner of Violet's, a very successful cake and cupcake shop in Old Pasadena.

    And, icing on the cake, she remarried and had a new baby (baby makes 7) a few months ago.

  2. I was once told that it was creepy that I had life insurance on my kids. I told her she was crazy. the life insurance will be theirs when they are adults and their kids will benefit from it.

    thanks for this post. it is very important for everyone.


  3. It's much easier and cheaper to get life Insurance for the kids while they're young. When they get our age and start health issues (ha-ha!!)it will be more expensive. Not to mention, they will have other expenses to worry about and sometimes it's hard to come up with that extra money. What you have done for your kids is a gift to their kids. They will love you for it. When my dad passed away, he did not have insurance and I saw my mom live a hard life. One of the first things she did was insure herself and us. Smart woman. You've made a very good decision Mari. It's not creepy, it's reality and a necessity.
    Love, Aso

  4. Susan I just sent you an e-mail :) hope you are well.
    Bambi, you are so right, it's so much better to get insurance on the kids at a young age, you'd have to be crazy not to...
    Aso jan, your mom is a very smart and brave woman, she is an inspiration to me.. love you :)

  5. this is where you need to gather support for life's realities..i admire you greatly for your perseverence~

  6. Oh Marinik, I read last night and so empathized with you. Life's journey is so fraught with difficulties and challenges isn't it? I see in you so much courage, ingenuity and wisdom. Just as we share in your pain when we read about the challenges, we will share in your joy when you triumph. Blessings my friend.

  7. Oh Mari you're so right. It's an awful thing to talk about, but it's so important to make provision for people after your death. Because grief is hard enough without adding financial anxiety in to the mix. Funnily enough MrSpud and I have talked about increasing our life insurance in recent weeks, but don't seem to have got round to doing anything about it. And today I was thinking that we MUST actually do something rather than just talk about it. So thank you for the kick!

    can I offer a little advice about the shop? We lost MrSpud's Dad a few months back, as you know. He had several businesses, one of which had been going for 20 years or so but was in a poor finncial state. We all SO wanted to keep on with it, for hte sake of the staff, and father in law's dreams and hopes and energy for the business. But, somehow, you must take the emotion and nostalgia out of it. Please don't keep adding to your debt out of a sense of duty, or out of respect for Gag's work. He wouldn't want you to be in debt, and all the worry for that. it might be hard to shut it down, and say goodbye to the staff and the memories. But, equally, it might be a good and fresh start.

    Grief is more than enough to be dealing with. Debt plus grief is an appalling combination...

    I do hope I haven't spoken out of turn. I do empathise!!

    Hugs xx

  8. A very intense subject yet the core of life's reality. Bravo and thank you for posting such an eye opener. Much strength & patience your way ...

    I must say, you're one hell of a strong LADY !

    Regards, Kar.