Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Time again..for another update on husband's condition.

I'll start by saying that there is not one day or even a moment that is like another....take yesterday... other than the two to three hours of pure joy we had painting away... he was in a lot of pain and had far too many discomforts... (ahh but those blissful moments were worth a thousand..)

It would seem that this enemy we are at war with has many faces... many tactics... many points of attack. And we need to be ever more flexible to be able to survive every attack. We have learned much in the past month, through the ever changing hurdles we've encountered.....

We've learned that the pain which is "controlled" can actually peak at a moments notice and the meds need to be adjusted time and time again... so that he doesn't endure that which he doesn't need to. We've learned that food and eating is not necessarily a priority any more... his systems inside will be shutting down slowly and that "flight or fight" mechanism will not be working with full force. We've learned that your body has points where it doesn't allow any needle to work it's magic... and after leaking morphine for hours we finally realize why the pain is not going away....yikes. We've come to understand that his legs will be the first to stop operating.... (he fell a few days ago... his legs just gave out under him), the walker is his constant companion for now.....

And I have personally learned that there is much more still ahead to be learned.... and that as things progress, and his condition worsens.... I need to pull myself together and be able to face each new challenge head on, I need to be prepared for any new attack and be able to fight back and survive each of those attacks. And that good moments on any given day might be just that... moments... glimpses of joy... a second... and if not savored will be lost forever.

Things are getting harder to say the least, and it's the hardest on him.... and this is why I need to build a tolerance for the pain I feel, as not to put more strain on his discomforts.... he worries about me, I see it in his eyes... every time I help him dress or to get up and walk.... he looks at me with those loving eyes.... as if to say.... I'm so sorry that you too are suffering with me.....
But this is the ups and downs that is Cancer.....we suffer together and rejoice together.... and in the end we will have learned so much about our everlasting, ever real, ever timeless love.....

love and peace

Monday, June 29, 2009

the first lesson......

There's an old saying....."when the student is ready.. the teacher appears"...So....with colors at hand....

The objects staged just so....
The teacher....(with frail shaky hands)... present with enthusiasm......
And most importantly... the eagerly inpatient student awaiting......

Father and son sat down for the first lesson on painting with oils....
Much was discussed... even more demonstrated.... of course the ever present photographer (yours truly) buzzing about them.... swaying to the tunes of Eva Ayllon (our fave Peruvian diva, check her out.)
A good day was had!

love and peace

Friday, June 26, 2009

a few words from Gag...

So, last night out of the blue Gag requested that I read my blog posts to him.....

When I first started my blog, he thought it was a good idea and was glad that I had found something to help me cope with this situation..... but, he never really wanted to know what I wrote about and I never thought to share with him, I assumed that it would be tough for him to hear some of the words that I pour out.

For some reason (and it really doesn't matter why..) he wanted me to share this world that is such a big part of my days lately.... perhaps because he's noticed how much it has made an impact in our lives, and wanted to know more about the people that have been keeping me company and encouraging me with their thoughts.....

And that's exactly what we did.... I started from day one and read every single post and comment.... Mind you some of the heavier posts were difficult for me to read and were even harder for him to hear, and I asked if he wanted me to stop at any point... the answer was always "no, are you kidding??? I can do this all night with you."

He said a few things that both he and I feel we want to share with all of you.... as you are all a part of this corner of mine. I am not going to quote him, as it was an emotional moment for both of us and I just can't remember word by word what he said.... but this is as close to his words as I can get..... First of all.... he thinks I rule ( thank you very much).... he was very impressed with my writing and said he never new I could express my words so well (even though I don't think I'm that great... I just write what's on my mind and in my heart)... he even said (and I laughed) that LA Times would pay big bucks for some of my posts ;)... he especially wanted me to thank each and every one of you for, as he put it..."keeping my wife company" and for all the encouraging and loving words that you've shared with me (us). And most of all he was touched at the love that all my words expressed... he said he knows that I love him.... but this.... this says so much more and he loves me for it. And when I read the last post and comments... he was sad that it ended... and wanted it to go on and on, I promised to share all the words that I put down from now on.

We had an amazing time together for those two hours, and it got me thinking that it's no surprise to me that even in this ugly situation we're in... and although the words I read and he heard were very painful... we still had a good time, and really enjoyed ourselves... But then again that has always been us. No matter how bad of a situation we have been at times in our lives we've always looked at the brighter side of things and have always had fun no matter what. When money was tight and we couldn't go out to wine and dine, we would pop open a $5 wine put out some munchies, pop a DVD and enjoy our evening, or when one of our kids was sick and couldn't sleep at nigh.. we didn't whine and bitch about it, in stead decided to stay up and keep one another company while comforting the baby and talk about our lives together....

In other words the cup has always been half full in our eyes.... but is that surprising to any of you.???

I'd like to add that some of your comments touched his heart and made him feel the love that rang out of those words (especially yours Sue :). So thank you all from the bottom of my (our) hearts for making this tough journey of ours a bit easier.

much love and hugs

love and peace!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Seek and you shall find....

Don't you just love the Internet??? I know, I know.... I've always been one of those people to bad mouth technology and blame this fast growing cyber world of robbing our kids of true innocent childhood... blah..blah...blah.... and to a certain extent it's true. Think about it our new generation can't imagine a world without their personal computers... held hand games... i pods... cell phones and of course the all mighty Internet.... can you blame them??? That is the world in which they were born into... ok here I go again veering off... (let's focus Mari...)

The reason I bring up the Internet today... is because it has helped me bring two old friends together after 30 years. ( a little background....) Gag attended the Spiritual Academy at Etchmiadzin Cathedral back home (which by the way is the oldest church in the world 301-303). It was possibly the most well spent years of his youth, having had lost his father to cancer at age 10 and having an ill mother, a teen boy could have gotten himself into a lot of trouble if not for this school. In the four years he attended there he made life long friends and mentors. One such mentor was his English teacher (pictured below with Gag) Michael, he was more than a teacher... he was that ever important great male role model any boy needs at that age, and taught him a lot, and in return Michael gained a family in Armenia and has always cherished that connection. However after Gagik and family moved to the US in the late 70's, they lost contact for whatever reason. And for as long as I have been in husband's life... every time he looks at old pictures... he remembers Michael with such fond memories and always wondered where he is and what he's up to...

Well... I took it upon myself to give Google a try... I thought "why not... I might actually find him".... And find him I did! I sent this photo with an e-mail to a church in New York where his name came up with the search... and sure enough they forwarded it to him. A couple of days ago we received an unexpected phone call. Michael was very pleased and thankful that I had found him and at the same time was devastated at the news of Gag's illness, and was also disappointed at both of them for having wasted all these years wondering what the other is "up to".
He is flying out here in mid July to spend a few days with Gag. This of course has made Gagik so happy, and is looking through his phone book to see if he can gather some old friends from the academy that are also here in LA, for a reunion day of reminiscing the good old days, and spending the day with laughter and joy.

Once again... don't you just love the Internet.... used properly it can bring far away worlds together.

top picture... (is my fave) Gag is at the far left corner
center picture... he's getting ordained at the first level
bottom... Micheal and Gag (last picture taken together)

If there is anyone that has made an impact in your life and is no longer in it... deserves to be "searched"... don't waste any more time!

love and peace!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

a walk down memory lane..

baby Gago

Gag and mom

Yesterday was a beautiful day....

The boys were having fun in the pool most of the day... and we lost ourselves in piles and boxes of old photos. As we flipped through forgotten boxes of pictures and turned the pages of albums that had not been opened for some time.....
We lost time and reality... and went on a day trip down memory lane, reliving memorable moments... remembering in detail the trips we had taken... the friends we've left behind in life.

What started from one small album, Gag wanted to look through of our honeymoon...turned into a great day... a journey of our lives through pictures... that will be imprinted in our minds forever.

My friend Hilda quoted Albert Einstein on Facebook.... about pictures I'd like to share here...

A photograph never grows old. You and I change, people change all through the months and years but a photograph always remains the same. How nice to look at a photograph of mother or father taken many years ago. You see them as you remember them. But as people live on, they change completely. That is why I think a photograph can be kind~Albert Einstein

P.S. So much for our art supplies huh... :) there's always today...
I wouldn't change those few hours we spent "lost"... for anything in the world.

I'm off.... lots of pictures to upload onto my Flickr and Facebook...

Have a great day guys.... and maybe.... go get lost in your old pictures for a day

love and peace!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

where there's a will....

The easel is out and dusted off... the brushes are soaking... the colors sorted.......and the blank canvases await a story...

So tomorrow, with a list at hand Robert and I will be picking up some new supplies as directed by dad....

There was a new light in Gag's eyes today... as weak and worn out as he is... he still got excited at the thought of teaching Rob how to play with oils.

These are the days we'll cherish.

love and peace

we love you dad

Happy Fathers day pap.... we love you soooo much.

Enjoy Father's day everyone.

love and peace

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Anacapa Island day hike

Last weekend uncle Aram and uncle Varoujan took the boys on a day hike to Anacapa Island, which is part of the Channel Islands off the coast of Ventura.

A little short boat ride to the island must have been fun, (notice how the smiles get smaller as the boys get older...) what is up with that???

hang on tight guys... it's a bumpy ride :)

Don't they look enthusiastic??? You wouldn't say it by looking at this picture... but they did have a good time.

Look how beautiful... too bad I couldn't make it... that's ok we'll go back again.

Does anyone read the signs anymore... ( that's a great shot by the way Aram)

What a great picture. It was a great day for the boys.. big and small :)

Thanks uncle Aram and Varouj, ( sorry Arekg wasn't up to it that day, too bad)

love and peace :)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

how does one "care"??

I've been talking to some friends and family who have either in the past or are currently taking care of loved ones that are ill... and it got me thinking... about what it takes to carry out such a task.

I haven't really been looking at it quite that way... I'm not my husbands caregiver.... I'm his loving wife who is doing what a loving wife does.... take care of the needs of the man you love. So as some visitors stop by to see him... the first question to me is ....."how do you do it... how can you survive this every day... and do it with a smile?"

Well... like I've said before I don't know... a power from within steps in and kind of overrules the emotions and the pain.... And let me tell you... I'd be lying if I said that I don't have "bad" days.... it would be unnatural not to feel anything. After all we are not trained nurses and these are not strangers we are caring for. There are so many different feelings that float around in your head on any given day or even moment.. that it can be down right overwhelming...

But these are all a part of the "caregivers" life... however long or short lived. Most of us who care for ill loved ones have a dozen other things we are responsible for too... our children... a job... the home... in my case our shop... so yes, it can be very stressful at times. And the emotional stress is what usually gets to be too much at times... All the different thoughts that we have inside that represent the different roles we play in our lives, battle each other in our heads constantly.

There is the pain of seeing the one you love suffer... there is the pain of not knowing how all this will effect the ones we love... (my kids).... there is the anger of the unfairness of life... there is the resentment of why him, why me, why us,.... there is the feeling of betrayal of how could this have happened.... and on ... and on.

And I have gone through most of those emotions and feelings, sometimes all at once.... but there comes a time where you just have to let go... and just accept the path that is in front of you and just walk it gracefully and with patience... otherwise not only are you miserable and complaining all the time, surrounded by negative thoughts... but also the one you are caring for suffers as a result of your resentment. There is something else to give thought to... not all patients are created equally... Gagik for example doesn't complain... or wine and nag the whole day, which makes my job a lot easier, but I was talking to someone who is caring for a person that is the opposite and gets upset, and argues etc.... and the caregiver feels unappreciated and betrayed.

Well to that I say... you mustn't take his reactions personally.... not all people can live with pain and not being able to care for themselves... thus get frustrated and angry... and who do we take out our anger on?? .... the ones we love.... it is not anger directed at you, but anger at the situation.. at the pain... at the unfairness.... So, again we must let it go, stop feeling like we are dealt a bad hand and must live with it.... just look at it like... this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing right now in my life... so I might as well do it right, do it with love and do it whole hearted.

It's when we stop fighting with our inner ramblings...then we can have peace.

love and peace

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

good eatin

Gag was craving some of his favorite foods today... yes that's right craving food.... that's a good thing... he is more alert.... has less pain... and overall is doing so much better today... so.....

we had some Georgian food, some yummy dumplings (khinkali) and some egg pizzas with feta cheese (khachapuri)... oh sooo good, totally hit the spot. He enjoyed the food and we enjoyed him in good spirit.

My mom heard him talking about these dumplings in the morning and ordered them right away (isn't she the best mother-in-law?) . We order it from this place, the food is really good, and they have all the classic Greorgian dishes.

Ahhh... we live for days like these... so can you tell I'm a bit happier now... talking about food and all :)

Gotta enjoy every moment right?
Hope you guys enjoyed the photos I had up earlier today, thank goodness for our scanner :)

love and peace

our love


Monday, June 15, 2009

a glimpse of happiness....

After three excruciating days of numbing pain, discomfort, not being able to sleep, or eat, or to get out of bed..... this evening was a happy one for us.

We were finally able to find the right dose of medication for Gag to control the pain... and he was actually able to get out of bed, eat something with pleasure, smile with us and have visitors. A few friends stopped by... and we sat around... talked and enjoyed ourselves as if nothing has happened.... (thanks guys, you made our day... love ya!).

So you tell me... how can I not be happy???

We must think... that today may be our best day... we mustn't wait for us to feel stronger tomorrow... or have more time to spend with friends on Saturday.... or that we are tiered now and will do it tomorrow..... NO... today is possibly the best day for us... and compared to the last three days... today was the best day... and tomorrow might be better or worse... but today was the best... and we took advantage of it and really enjoyed that two hour glimpse of happiness...

saying good night with a happy face today... and that is a BIG thing

love and peace...

Sunday, June 14, 2009

What doesn't kill us......

They say: "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"......

If someone had said some time ago that I would have to watch my love slowly leave this world, and that I had to stay strong and survive..... I would have said that it would kill me..... but it doesn't kill you....

And you wonder HOW??? do I wake up every morning and carry on??? How do I look at him and smile and give him a reason to smile....????? How do I give courage and strength to my boys to live through this... and find ways of going on????

I don't know.... when you are faced with such things... such pain.... and when death has arrived at your door and is not willing to leave... until it has gotten what it came for.... you muster up some extra power that you have deep inside... hidden for such occasions....

If you are religious... you see it as God giving you that power.... or if you are not... then it's some cosmic power that comes over you and you do.... you survive it..... and you do more than survive it.... you embrace it.... you accept it.... you make it your own.... and that's what keeps you alive and doesn't "kill you" .....

Needless to say the past few days have been very surreal.... we had some very important decisions to make.... final wishes to convey....

It came at us... not so much out of nowhere... but it just happened too fast.... ya we knew this day was probably coming... and ya we thought we were ready to face it.... but in a couple of days he took a turn to the worse... his pain is not controlled...no matter how much meds he pumps in his body.... he's not getting out of bed.... he doesn't want to eat or drink anything..... is the end that near????

Are we ready for it????? Are we ever ready for such a devastation????

We have to be....
He is ready for his exit.... he is at peace with it.... we just have to be willing to...let him go...

love and peace..... to us all.....

words with meaning....

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

the courage to change the things I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Friday, June 12, 2009

the time has come

My dearest friends....

I wish I had some happy words to share with you tonight.....

But.... as my heart aches with each word I type, and my soul is in agony from my thoughts.....
I have not much to say.... it would appear that cancer is winning.... the tumors in his liver and on his spine have actually doubled in size in the last 8 weeks, and are growing very rapidly.

As advised by our wonderful and compassionate doctor, that any further treatment would put unnecessary strain on his body..... so the time has come for us to seek help from Hospice.

The time has come for me to make every day really count, to make sure he has no pain, that he is comfortable and surrounded by our love and joy, and to savor each glance, each kiss, each moment we're together.

Once again, he handled it with the utmost strength, courage, grace and humor... that's my Gag.
I will be seeking help from one of the social workers at City of Hope to speak to the boys and explain what we will be going through... It will be very hard, I know I will be strong... I will be patient, I will be comforting, and I will be there for all of us.... I have to be.

I have no more words to share tonight...

keep love and peace in your hearts

a little treat

We're off to City of Hope for Gagik's tests, we had a pretty rough night, and will have a long day, but all of your words from yesterdays post will be with me and will make the day a bit bearable.

So, I leave a treat for all of you today, a portrait of me... Gag did some years ago. I'm thinking of putting out his easel and getting some new oils and canvases for him, so on days that he's up to it, he can create some more art. Plus, he's been wanting to teach Robert how to paint with oils... it will be a great bonding thing for father and son. Hum.... fathers day is coming up right? That will be a great gift for Gag... I'll get right on it.

Have a great day everyone, and remember to keep your hearts open to receive the wonders of this day.

love and peace!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

What to expect?

I've been avoiding talking about this the whole week.... I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow, we have a CT and Bone scan scheduled, it will be another long and tiring day for Gagik.

And to be honest I don't really know what to expect from the results.... on one hand do I hope for a small chance of some good news???? Or expect the worse???? If I hope for too much... then there is the disappointment to deal with.... if I expect the worse... am I really ready to handle any more bad news??... not that it could be any worse at this point.
They did say that chemo will most likely not help anymore, but there was a small chance that both the chemo and radiation treatments together might make things a bit better.... But the way he's been feeling the last week... I don't know if things are getting better or worse.

He's not doing too great... the nausea is a constant companion, the pain is always there no matter how many pills he takes, and all the pills make him numb so his mood and spirit is suffering as a result of that.... I want to take him out for a walk or to lunch... but he just has no interest, mostly because he's not feeling well. S0, once again I need to make another transition... and learn to deal with this stage another way... do I back away and just let him be??? Or push him to be more "present"????

All very tough questions to ponder...., perhaps today is not the right day to deal with them... been up most of the night just thinking, and I'm just drained, so how about I just "skip" today and hope to (no plan to) wake up with more spirit tomorrow.

And you know??? Ya he's not doing so great... but he's not doing so bad either.... and whatever tomorrow has in store for us... we'll just deal with it as we have with all that's come our way so far.... right? Although we won't have the answers till next week, so that will be another challenge to wait patiently.... in the mean time.... I'll just write.... helps me cope and stay composed...

Thanks for lending an ear ya all...

Love and Peace!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Simple Things in LIfe....

I guess the theme of the day in the blogosphere on this Wednesday morning is "the simple things in life"... Julochka has her list up, inspired by Christina's post, and I had a similar list some time ago here, but today I decided to stick to one "simple thing" that gives me and many others a bit of joy and pleasure.... food. I know our caveman fathers ate whatever they could find just to survive, but eventually man figured out that...hey... some of this stuff taste better with some of this other stuff mixed in and our pallets started evolving. I think food and the process of eating, especially in good company... foods that we enjoy eating.... and those little guilty pleasures that make our tummies happy....
is one of the greater joys in life. And often times it is that little "simple thing" that we enjoy.

I love most cheeses, but have never really been big on blue cheese, however this little, creamy delight I found some time ago from Trader Joe's is amazing, this is my little guilty pleasure I indulge in from time to time. And I don't know if you've noticed this about me from some of my posts... but the things I enjoy eating... I like to savor, and really let the tastes dance in my mouth in stead of devouring it in one bite.

Yesterday after my grocery shopping, this is what I had for lunch.... some nice crusty Ciabatta bread, a nice helping of that yummy Castello Blue cheese, and I love some honeycomb on it, oh... the flavors are sooooo nice together (I'm salivating just writing about it).... focus Mari... focus.

So, enjoy those simple little things that put a smile on your face, and play along today.... let us know what your simple pleasures are in life.

Still gloomy and blue down here in LA today.... enjoy your day anyways :)

Love and Peace!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Paper or Plastic?? Neither!

Don't you just love reusable bags?? I'm so glad more and more supermarkets, drugstores and other retailers are carrying them. They're inexpensive (anywhere from .99 to $2.99), can be used for more than just grocery shopping, (bookstore... picnic.... lunch bag...) are very cute and stylish, and hey they're good for our little blue planet.

As soon as I'm done putting away my groceries, I fold them up and put them by my purse, so I don't forget to take them back to the car, and they're ready to go for next time. Of course Trader Joe's have some of the nicest ones, and they've come up with a brilliant plan to encourage people to use them more. Every time you take your bags in with you, they put your name in a raffle drawing, 5 winner every week for a $20 gift card towards your next groceries. Isn't that smart thinking? (I have yet to win, but oh well there's always next time ;).
So, here's hoping that someday the question... "paper or plastic"? will be a thing of the past.

That's all I got for you guys today.... just trying to stay busy on another gloomy and blue day.

Have a great Tuesday!
Love and Peace!

Monday, June 8, 2009

To All My Fellow Bloggers

I find myself... this morning... a bit drained... a bit unistpired... a bit melancholy....

Had a pretty emotional weekend, which I don't really want to get into...

So, in stead of moping around the house in my ever present comfy sweats, eating ice-cream out of the tub, submerged in self pity (yuk), what I will do... is something I've been wanting to do for some time now... send my gratitude and love to all my faithful readers and followers...

When I started this blog, it was to have a bucket where I could pour all my thoughts and emotions into, which would help me cope with what we are going through, and also to have a place where friends and family would find some updates and overall information about how Gagik was doing.

Well... after some 57 posts and 14 followers... this has become a place of comfort for me, something to look forward to each day, a place that inspires and feeds my creativity, which in turn makes each day bearable, it truly is my way of survival at the moment. And for this I have all of you to thank. Each time I see a new name under my "followers" or have a comment from someone new, it makes my day.... And who are you wonderful people, that find time in your lives to encourage and give so much love, share your thoughts and give so much strength to.... well.... a stranger in need?

To Susan C. and Sue B., two extraordinary women who are also at war with this "real weapon of mass destruction" (as I like to refer to this sick disease)... thank you for all the positive feedback and words of strength that you have sent my way, your words have meant so much to me, and I hope that in some small way I have contributed to at least a few happy moments in your lives.

To Julochka, when you introduced and praised my little blog on your "700" post, to your 800 some followers, it made my day, and sent me straight to cloud 9 for a week (where I don't find myself too often lately), I was crying and so touched that you found something special in my words to share with your readers.... thank you!

To Jules, for inspiring me with your daily postings and for the invite to a virtual pot of tea on my next visit to your little corner of the blogosphere.

To Kitty for your red lipstick kisses sent my way. To Janet, for all the beauty you posses inside and sharing it with us all. To Liz, for sharing your knowledge about natures treasures with us all.
To Dash my first follower... thanks for being there from the beginning. Stacey thanks for giving us Discounderworld, enjoy reading it. Jennifer and Ali thanks for joining me.

To Philip, who after following silently for some time, found himself moved by my words enough to share his thoughts, I hope I can give you some courage and strength in return to deal with all that is going on in your life now.

And to everyone who shares this corner with me, to all the friends and family who have sent much love, support and prayers our way.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
Is this sounding a bit like a farewell letter??? On the contrary.... it is a letter that says....
"this is the begging of a beautiful friendship" or should I say "blogship".

Love and Peace!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Open your hearts

I once again woke up this morning with a heavy heart.... hubby hasn't been feeling so great the last couple of days, is vomiting too much and can't really hold any food down. I'm hoping he'll have a better day today.

So with my heavy heart and achy body I dragged myself out of bed and out the door to Qi Gong practice... and then something wonderful happened.... I had such an amazing practice... With the first breath I took in at warm up, I felt my heart lifting little by little, and the day looked brighter and brighter... And as my heart opened up I felt so calm and in tune inside, and lost myself completely to the swaying of the movements. After the closing meditation, I felt recharged once again and able to face the day with a happier and lighter heart.

I learned something new today.... when we keep our hearts open through the day, we leave an open path to our soul, a window of opportunity if you will, for the wonders that await us each day. Have you ever noticed, when you are in a bad mood, filling your head with negative thoughts and nagging throughout the day.... more and more bad and unpleasant things happen that day.

Well today such a wonder, a heartfelt gift found it's way through that window, traveling that path to my soul, and filled my heart with so much joy, warmth and love.... But, I was willing to receive that gift because my heart was open... often our eyes see things that our hearts miss because we are not open to accept them.

I stopped by Alice's for what may seen like a mundane chore... a hair trim for Arman. Alice was the voice in my head that suggested I start this blog, (thanks again Al for being the messenger from the power above). But what was just a routine visit... turned out to be an incredibly pleasant experience for me. Her daughter Nicole , who is blessed with an amazing singing voice and the talent to compose her own music and write her own lyrics, had written a song for me. As she sang this song with the greatest of passion in her voice and the music vibrated out of her piano.... I was lost in an ocean of tears, these were not tears of pain or sorrow, but of love and joy that had filled my heart. I was stunned and frozen in my seat, to think that this 15 year old can create such words that would touch my heart so deep.... did I really deserve such a brilliant gift.... (I'm crying, even now as the words echo in my mind)..... Thank you Nicole for giving me this priceless treasure that will warm my heart forever.

Such wonders can be felt each day, and can fill our hearts with so much love....if only we would keep our hearts open to receive these gifts..

keep love and peace in your hearts.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Crayons for coloring?

Who says crayons are just for coloring..... our 13 year old creates some amazing art but, prefers just a sharp pencil and whatever paper that's available at the time. He however has found another way of creating with his old crayons, he's been doing this since 2nd grade.

After carefully removing the wrapper... he carves the crayons with his fingernails (no wonder he protests every time I ask to cut his nails)..... and creates these amazing little "weapons" for his action figures.

way to "color outside the lines" Rob.
thought I'd share... (am I gloating??? oops :) hey, proud mama here...

love and peace!

Great Memories

Honeymoon at St. John, US Virgin Islands

Kawai, Hawaiian Islands
Athens, Greece
Meteora, Greece (Julochka had a great post about this place a couple of days ago)
Skiathos Island, Greece
Nagril Beach, Jamaica
Lake Sevan, Armenia

Just wanted to share some of the great memories we've made over the years.... Priceless!

Love and Peace!

p.s. ok so some of my pictures are crooked, forgot to fix after scanning, oh well :) and I learned how to link, yay for me.