So, last night out of the blue Gag requested that I read my blog posts to him.....
When I first started my blog, he thought it was a good idea and was glad that I had found something to help me cope with this situation..... but, he never really wanted to know what I wrote about and I never thought to share with him, I assumed that it would be tough for him to hear some of the words that I pour out.
For some reason (and it really doesn't matter why..) he wanted me to share this world that is such a big part of my days lately.... perhaps because he's noticed how much it has made an impact in our lives, and wanted to know more about the people that have been keeping me company and encouraging me with their thoughts.....
And that's exactly what we did.... I started from day one and read every single post and comment.... Mind you some of the heavier posts were difficult for me to read and were even harder for him to hear, and I asked if he wanted me to stop at any point... the answer was always "no, are you kidding??? I can do this all night with you."
He said a few things that both he and I feel we want to share with all of you.... as you are all a part of this corner of mine. I am not going to quote him, as it was an emotional moment for both of us and I just can't remember word by word what he said.... but this is as close to his words as I can get..... First of all.... he thinks I rule ( thank you very much).... he was very impressed with my writing and said he never new I could express my words so well (even though I don't think I'm that great... I just write what's on my mind and in my heart)... he even said (and I laughed) that LA Times would pay big bucks for some of my posts ;)... he especially wanted me to thank each and every one of you for, as he put it..."keeping my wife company" and for all the encouraging and loving words that you've shared with me (us). And most of all he was touched at the love that all my words expressed... he said he knows that I love him.... but this.... this says so much more and he loves me for it. And when I read the last post and comments... he was sad that it ended... and wanted it to go on and on, I promised to share all the words that I put down from now on.
We had an amazing time together for those two hours, and it got me thinking that it's no surprise to me that even in this ugly situation we're in... and although the words I read and he heard were very painful... we still had a good time, and really enjoyed ourselves... But then again that has always been us. No matter how bad of a situation we have been at times in our lives we've always looked at the brighter side of things and have always had fun no matter what. When money was tight and we couldn't go out to wine and dine, we would pop open a $5 wine put out some munchies, pop a DVD and enjoy our evening, or when one of our kids was sick and couldn't sleep at nigh.. we didn't whine and bitch about it, in stead decided to stay up and keep one another company while comforting the baby and talk about our lives together....
In other words the cup has always been half full in our eyes.... but is that surprising to any of you.???
I'd like to add that some of your comments touched his heart and made him feel the love that rang out of those words (especially yours Sue :). So thank you all from the bottom of my (our) hearts for making this tough journey of ours a bit easier.
much love and hugs
love and peace!