Wednesday, March 17, 2010

always with us...

Hello friends, I've been a bit absent from here...don't feel much like writing lately, too much going on. In case you are wondering, we are doing ok, dealing with the usual ups and downs of this path, of life really...something everyone is faced with through their journey. Little bit of joy, some sadness, a few great moments here and there, sometimes tears of happiness, sometimes of sadness, mix in some love and laughter and that is LIFE in a nutshell...
I'm getting sort of used to the peeks and crashes that roll from one day to the next, I guess us humans adapt to everything eventually, it is what it is.... But I guess that's the beauty of life...what did Forrest Gump say?... "Life is like a box of chocolates"?.... which is not really a bad thing :)

I have to tell you, it's hard letting go of someone so special nor do we want to, or we should.... it's funny I still have his toothbrush next to mine by the sink, see it every morning and every night. Is it the false sense of comfort that I want to feel, is it there still because for that brief second my eyes see it, I can fool myself into thinking that he is still with us?... All his colognes are there still, sitting next to mine on the vanity, collecting dust... The other day I thought I'd clean them up a bit, picked one up and the scent hit my nose and I realized just how much I miss him... had a good cry session for the next hour or so, that's ok too, need that at times...

Should we hang on to a few things that remind us of his presence or absence? Or should we remove everything?.... There is no answer to these questions, these items are still there because they just are... I haven't made an effort to remove them or to leave them be, and whether they are there for our eyes to see or not, makes no difference really... Because he is gone and yet he is still with us, we may not see him or be able to touch him or even feel his presence, but he is there.... he is in our hearts, in our memories, in our words, our thoughts, in the boys faces and their actions as well.... He will always be with us because he is so much a part of who we are...

And after days, weeks, months and years have passed, the toothbrush and the colognes will be gone, the few pieces of his clothes that I've hung on to because they still smell like him, will loose their scent and also be gone... but it's his memory and all the things that made him who he was and is will still remain. He will still be part of our conversations, the spark behind our laughter, the reason for our tears... with us, through us he will live on....
These are the thoughts that help me wipe my tears away and put a smile on my face...

Thanks again for lending an ear...

love...peace...and joy to you my friends


  1. everything in its own time . keep them if they bring a bit of comfort ...blessings to you and yours

  2. In all due time my friend. There is no set time to do things only in your time.

    As I read your post I felt as if my mom was writing this. Granted she is alot older. My dad will be gone 2 yrs come Sept. I think if we haven't moved her closer to us she would still have his brush, toothbrush out by hers. She hasn't gotten rid of my dad's stuff yet, we just packed it up with us. I think when she is ready I will take some of his clothes to have someone make a lap quilt.

    Many hugs coming your way my friend. xo

  3. There aren't any rules. One day, you will decide and that will be the right time. One day at a time, sometimes, it's one minute at a time.

  4. Just as you feel fit..... there are things here that were left after my stepfather passed.. I just move them to another place.. i can't get rid.
    Life moves on but sometimes a little corner of the room can stay the same. Hugs.. my good friend. xx

  5. I cant help but just to fell every word that you write. I always feel how unfair life is and how amazing you are is the next thought after I wanted to say this is writing .

  6. "humans adapt to everything", you're right...

    Big hug for you

  7. All in good'll know when you're 'ready' to start to remove Gag's wordly goods. For now, be kind to youself and keep them around for the comfort they bring. One day you'll know you're ready to start letting go of the physical things.
    Hugs xx

  8. I think everyone said what I'm feeling, I'll just add an extra hug. Here: xoxxoo

  9. i am always thinking of you. always.

  10. Lovely, I hope if I die before my husband that he will keep a few things of mine around. Sending you a big giant hug from Georgia.