Friday, September 25, 2009


I want to talk a little about friendship today...

I'm not talking about the type of friendship that's kind of casual, a drink here and there, a lunch date on a busy work week, or an occasional phone call once in a while. What I'm talking about is the kind of friendship that withstands the test of time, the up and down hills that life takes us through, the connection that is thicker than blood. Not many people are fortunate enough in their lives to make and keep such connections.

Although I'm a strong believer that a lot has to do with the kind of friend you are to others that determines the friends that you make throughout your lifetime. We all go through different stages of life and during these different stages we come across many people that win our hearts, then sometimes we drift away and loose that connection for whatever reason or we hold on to those friends forever if we're lucky.

The friendship that I speak of here is much like the unconditional love of a parent for the child, yes I know that connection is stronger than anything we will ever encounter in our lives, but with a good friendship, an unselfish friendship one that has no boundaries one can come pretty close to a connection that is similar to a family bond. Friends like these will accept you for all that you are, will cherish what you have to offer, will know when to push you, or when to step back. They will understand that if you need time then that is what they give you, or if you need a shoulder then they are the first to arrive... (preferably with some comfort food and vino). They don't judge or criticize you when you are not yourself, instead accept and understand your position, they don't shower you with advise when all you need is a hug, they don't talk when you need them only to listen. And they certainly don't walk away and leave you crouched in a dark corner when you need a lift.

Yes friendship like this is hard to find and hang on to, for those who find it should do all necessary to feed that connection, not to let it drift away. A note of caution here... it is very important that this devotion be a mutual one, if only one is the giving and supportive partner all the time... then that's not a real friendship. And at times we will have to accept that not all people are capable of such a devotion to that connection and those are usually the people that can't make any other connections in their lives last for that matter.

So, yes as the saying goes "we may not choose our family, but we choose our friends" is true, and we should choose.... the people that can take that step and commit to that connection... because a train cannot travel on one track... it needs both tracks on a leveled surface to ride smoothly.

And that's my two cents worth on the topic...
Be well my cyber friends


  1. If friendship were a picture it would be two minds, one heart. To me, a friend is someone who speaks to my heart, and my heart listens, then speaks back to theirs.

    You often speak to my heart. I hope I do the same for you.

  2. i am nodding my head yes. ya know mari, i was trying to get together with my girlfriend, and she sent me am email with the dates, she would be available. i almost burst into tears, when she replied that two of her dates were taken. well i will have coffee in the morning alone, at my favorite shop, loving life.
    when did it get to the point in life, where we have to pencil one another in. sigh.

  3. I don't need or want a lot of friends...just a few true blue ones! Think that is an introvert characteristic! Too tired to type tonight, will read again tomorrow.

  4. I think you have a true friend where you can say exactly what is on your mind and can be yourself. Also, I measure a friendship if you can sit with each other and have comfortable silences. I have friends that I don't always see but when we are together we just pick up where we left off and it may have been a year ago.

  5. i totally agree. i see my friends as extended family. and i really cherish the feeling of being able to just be myself with them. they'd simply laugh at me when i'm being pathetic (yet again...) but they wouldn't dream of dropping me for it. they tell me off when i'm out of order, they comfort me when i need it, they paint my hall with me when i don't get my act together (having talked about it for years) and they laugh with me anytime. hooray for friends!

  6. great post! andyes, i totally agree. i remember my 14 yr old cousin told my 15 year old self that he didn´t have many friends because he chose wisely... that´s something that has always stuck with me- i don´t have many "friends", but do cherish the ones i have. besos!