A few posts ago, I had an anonymous reader request that I do a post about Gagik's character, about the things he felt strongly about, his motto in life, the words he lived by....
So today marks two month since he flew away, I though it would be a great opportunity to do this. I have talked a lot about him in my past posts, especially in the early days of blogging and the days that were the toughest for us. I also wrote a poem about him which pretty much sums up who he was as a person. So, lets see....
I'll start by saying that he was a very practical man with logic behind every decision he made in life (except the one about marrying me :) he was head over heals in love and we all know logic has no chance against love, but it was a wise decision... we both thought. He was a deep thinker, but didn't always engage in deep conversations. He loved being around friends and family, and enjoyed the simple things that life had to offer...be it a glass of vino with some good friends, or being around the BBQ grill with a nice cold shot of vodka, sharing a few good laughs... or a simple cup of coffee with me.
He expressed love freely, but never really smothered you with too much of it, he also never had any conflicts with anyone (everyone that knows him can vouch for that), this is not to say that he never disagreed at times, but knew when to push his point and when to let it go... which is something we should all strive for (hmmm perhaps that's why we never really had a fight, people can vouch for that too :).
He was a big family man and yet enjoyed his time with friends as well, which I encouraged (hey... men gotta do their guy things once in a while right), he felt the same when it came to me and my girlfriends, I think that's very healthy for a relationship. Being a dad was his greatest joy, because he grew up without a father, he was always determined to be the best at it... and he was. As a husband he was a very patient and loving man, never nit-picked at little things, hey I'm not perfect and I'm sure sometimes I did things that upset him, but once again like he always said..."never mind the little things", he always supported my decisions, we did run a business together for 17 years and quite successfully might I add. He wasn't a "romantic" person, the way society depicts romance to be, which is so far from reality, but he was always affectionate and his thinking on that was.... "if I'm going to be a jerk to you all year long and then get you a dozen red roses for Valentine's day, then that's not really love". And that's exactly how I feel about it, we were very loving all the time so there were no special occasions for us to "celebrate".
He was a man of his word and went out of his way for people who needed his help, and that wasn't just for friends and family, he had a great compassion for his fellow man. A calm life was all he would dream of, he was very easy going and tried to keep a harmonious relationship with everyone and for everyone. He was a firm believer of moderation in all aspects of his life, and tried to pass that message on to everyone whenever he could.
As a friend he was a great listener, which made him a terrific friend, he was always there when you needed him but, didn't bombard you with advise you didn't need, and never judged you, all excellent qualities in a friend (his closest friends can vouch for this too).
He believed in trial and error and letting kids explore their own possibilities and yet was a very cautious parent. He appreciated all the little blessings every day in his life, and gave a 110% to whatever he was involved in at any time...
Did this guy have no flaws you ask??? Well he was human and I'm sure he did... but I sure wasn't going to nit-pick at them, I guess the good outweighed the bad most of the time... oh wait I got one...
He loved to sleep in and not that this is a flaw... but me... a morning person... him a total night owl, you couldn't pay him enough to get up early, unless he had a golf game scheduled or was going fishing... of course he never ate the fish he caught, hated all sea food, and feta cheese, unbelievable considering he was half Greek huh?
The other thing everyone loved about him was his happy attitude in life, no matter how bad of a day he had, if you asked him how he was... his answer was always the same... "spectacular"... "terrific"... and he meant it too. The cutest part of his character, I loved... was when he was in a crowd he wasn't familiar with or uncomfortable in, he would always start cracking jokes and that is exactly why he was the life of any party, actually that's exactly how he reeled me in.... his sense of humor... he could make me laugh like no one has, so all you single guys out there, remember the ladies love a man that can make them laugh. He loved it when I laughed especially with a good chuckle.
As I've mentioned before...he wasn't big on words but showed his ideals in life with his actions.
His mother and sister were a very important part of his life, he always worried about them and tried to do the best he could to make them happy, after he lost his dad, at 10, he felt that he needed to protect them at all coast, which made him a very carrying person... I guess it's true... what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, the tough times he went through made him who he was, I'm a true believer that we are all the product of our lives and experiences.
Well, I hope you all got to know Gag a little better now, and here is the thing, he was a great man, and is missed tremendously by all who knew him...I know how hard it has been to go on with our lives without this happy, smiling person, so all of our friends and family who read my blog, but rarely comment or if you do it's usually on my link on facebook.... today I want all of you guys out there to leave a few words here, and tell us your thoughts about him, I want my blog friends to hear what you have to say, so don't be shy and speak up, do it for Gag...
By the way... I always proofread my posts out loud...just in case he is listening , we all know how he loved when I read my blog to him....:)
love...peace...joy...
I wish I'd known him.......
ReplyDelete♥
S
I first met Gag. In a later evening. I was sitting at our home backyard firepit enjoying a drink and Mari and Gag returned from a date We introduced ourselves and instantly I felt like I knew him for a long time. That evening we sat, drank, joked laughed and saw the night turn into morning. I did not have a brother so Gags entrance into our family granted me the honor, pleasure and privilage of gaining one. As a protective, (some would say possessive) Armenian brother, I was very determined to make sure that my sister was taken good care of and married the right person. Gag, You were the right person. You gave my sister joy, love, care, compassion and a family. I love you brother, and I miss you terribly.
ReplyDeleteAram
i just read my post again... and i'm so upset that he had to leave so early.... and yet feel so fortunate to have had him in my life... i guess.. better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all... so sad, but true
ReplyDeleteGag was my brother, i loved him more than words can explain. I never had a father so he was for me not only an older brother but a father figure. He was a loving, caring, thoughtful, considerate, peace loving person. He was a very simple man, it didn't take a lot to make him happy, for instance that sip of coffee w/his cigarette on his balcony w/Mar was worth the world to him, or the hugs& kisses he would get from Arman & Robert, and when you watched him kiss the boys it was with so much love and passion. He loved Mar so much even in his last few days with all the drugs in his system, he wanted her constantly by his side and was looking to kiss her cheek, i can't get that out of my mind. I miss him so much and i shed tears for him everyday, and can't believe that he is gone from us forever, and the pain is just getting worse as time goes by. He is missed by everyone, everyone who knew him loved him and misses him and his mom is still waiting for his footsteps outside her door with his greeting of "hola mamasita"....Life just isn't fair, and nothing in this world will ever be the same now that he's gone.
ReplyDeleteI wish I'd known him, too. I could have learned a lot by his example. I could have laughed a lot because of his humor. I could have witnessed the purity of love instead of the idealistic love we grow up with.
ReplyDeleteYes, I wish I'd known him, too.
Dear Mari jan thank you for responding to my request(a few weeks later). I just want you to know that Gagik meant the world to me, I always wanted to be like him. When i fund out that my wife was pregnant i was field with mixed feeling. On one hand i was sad that i had no job for the past 2 years and i was about to bring a beautiful baby in to this life and that i couldn't give him the world. But in the other hand i was blessed to have a perfect father figure (Gagik) that i could look up too and get advice from. But that dream was short lived, I was looking forward to having gagik and you too Mari jan teach me and my wife on how to be a perfect parents and how to raise awesome kids like Arman and Rubert. That's way it is very important for me if you always teach us the new parent a chapter from Gagik and Mari's parenting book ones in a will. Mari jan, Gagik was my jesus and i loved him very much. Its also getting very hard for me too i feel like im getting lost as time pass me bye. I will never forget him and my kids are always going to hear stories of a great man that i know and looked up too. Im sorry i cant write any more the tears are getting to me.
ReplyDeletelove jerry
p.s. your anonymous friend
blessed are the peacemakers. what a cool dude.
ReplyDeleteaww, love you guys....
ReplyDeletejerry you are too cute, he loved you too, allot, and don't worry i'm here for you, i'll try and fill his place as well as mine
What else can I add?! You guys pretty much said it all about our beloved Gago!
ReplyDeleteHE WAS A GREAT HUMAN BEING!!!! The world sure would be a better place if there were more people like him....SHAT APSOS...
Aniko
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us who he was.
ReplyDeleteSara
i agree with s- i wish i had known him too. hugs mari.
ReplyDeleteOh this is lovely, you must print this out and keep it somewhere near you for those low moments. He sounds so wonderful, what a blessing to all who knew him
ReplyDeletex
Marine, that was wonderful to read.
ReplyDeleteGagik has been my one guy cousin on my mom's side, and his absence is a real loss. He's always been calm, peaceful, good-natured, strong, lighthearted and funny, and really down to earth...I think he really knew what is important in life. And I think he has a lot of Khikj (compassion) that was always there in his dealing with people, and a part of him. I still can't believe it's real that he passed. There is nothing to say about his place that he completely filled, and now is so clearly noticable and necessary. As I said to you, this has been an introduction into things happening that make no sense and seem unjust. That said, he's very much missed by everyone and his gentle spirit will be missed. He called me "Nairook" ;) or "what's up cuz?" and he's such an important part of our cousin get togethers. He'll always be part of it.
Love,
Nairy
I have loved reading about him from those 'others' who loved and knew him too. I have a more complete picture in mind of him now.
ReplyDeleteOh Mari - he sounds very special. I'm sure he loves that you proofread your posts out loud. You are an amazing woman and extra hugs to you...
ReplyDeleteI love this post and getting to know him better. Can you please tell us how to pronounce his name?
ReplyDeleteMarin, as you already know, I didn't know him, but wish I did. Being far away for so many years I have also missed you very much and missed a great part of your life. I'm so glad to be back. Although Gagik is no longer there, your posts and pictures help me catch up with my old friends and their lives. All I can say is that I'm glad you had the privilage to be married to this wonderful guy. I'm so happy for you to have experienced such happiness and lived with such content. Like my mom said, let that be your victory against the unfairness that life has brought you. Love, Astrid
ReplyDeleteHe sounds so fun, Mari. I would love to have been friends with him. H e sounds like the most wonderful patient dad with the boys too. how wonderful to be remembered this way!
ReplyDeleteMarin jan, what a great post and great picture of Gagik with him big smile as always. I bet he was feeling "shikarnee" in that picture. We miss him very much, his great sense of humor, his love towards everybody and life. big hugs to you and pachikner
ReplyDeleteSirvard
as I wrote two months before: only the good die young.... but why????
ReplyDeletewhat a beautiful soul. xoxo
ReplyDeletehey mari: gave you a little shout out on organic orgy yesterday; feel free to play along or not. just wanted to give you some props. peace, kitty
ReplyDeletethat must have felt so good to write...i hold you and your extended family tightly today...
ReplyDeleteHi Mari Jan,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, that was amazing...Could you imagine if the rest of the people all around the world were just like Gag? Wouldn't it be such a peaceful world? It's truly amazing how each and every persons destiny is already set, but we just don't know the outcome.
We love you Mari Jan, keep writing....
Mardy, Ani, Alla, Petik
thanks to all my blog friends, our friends and family...for having this conversation with me :)
ReplyDeletethat is a beautiful post - thank you for telling us about him. he sounds like a very special man, and I'm so sorry you had to lose him.
ReplyDeleteMari, I am so glad that you visited my photo gallery and left a comment. Your comment led me to your blog. Just like a timely read poem, your blog warmed my heart and left me with a positive outlook towards this moment we call life. Nothing can be said that will ease the pain you must be going through and nothing can quench the longing you must be feeling for your husband and friend. Instead I am sending you my heartfelt brotherly hug since I feel I’ve always known you and Gag. I was in tears the whole time I was reading your blogs and looking at the photos, and I also noticed that my tears were giving me insight and strength to deal with my own life situations. I am still grieving the passing of my still young parents which was only 3 months apart. One thing I have noticed is that I’ve been continuously carved by grief and sorrow but I am much deeper now and contain more love and serene understanding. Thank you again for your honest and insightful writing. It resonates with my soul. Take care of yourself, your family and continue noticing the great joy in little things for this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteEdmond Keshishyan