Sunday, November 29, 2009

it's all too fresh..

We lost a very dear family friend this past week, and had to be strong, and support the family through these tough days. But being there at the wake and the funeral... just destroyed me...
It's all too fresh for me, and I can't seem to recover from it yet. I've cried harder the past few days than ever... I miss him more and more, and need him by my side ever more...

This path just seems to get harder and harder... I hope the pain inside doesn't win over the strength, I have no choice but to be strong, my boys need me and will need me more and more, I must stay strong... but it's just proving to be more challenging as time goes by...

I'm hoping...

I miss you my love... please help me by giving me strength to get through this storm...


  1. i am so sorry to read this. i guess we're made to believe that it will get easier with time. i do hope that will be the case for you. if not today or tomorrow, then soon.

  2. Oh my love...I'm so sad....grief is cruel, just when you think you might be moving onwards a little it comes around afresh and beats you over the head. It's ok, it's normal to feel like feel pain, you remember your raw pain from a few months ago, you empathise with the family more than you ever would have before and that's painful too.

    But it's good to have a good cry, a real HOWL during the grieving process. You're being so strong and brave, but sometimes it's bettr to let it all out.

    Warm hugs xxxx

  3. Grief is one of those very consuming it is meant to be. We can put on the brave face and we can carry on but we also need to acknowledge the give it time and space and allow it to work through us. To not do that is to deny ourselves and the missing loved one a proper mourning.

    Being strong for our children is important of course but think of the lesson you are teaching and the good you are doing by letting them see how sadness and grief touch us and how we work through that. A very valuable part of life.

    There are times when it seems like grief is our constant companion...we are still working through grief as you are, and then we are can be hit with it again. It seems unfair and unjust, but love? Well, love is part of life as is loss and to be able to express how we feel about those losses is just so vital to our well being.

    My thoughts are with you.

  4. I can imagine that the Thanksgiving holiday was hard enough without this fresh reminder of your own personal loss, my dear Mari. My heart goes out to you and I am sending you a gentle, loving hug. Gag is still with you and always will be, only his form has changed.

  5. The holidays were a tough time for me too when I lost my step dad, it was excruciating at times let alone having to deal with another death. Be strong my dear, this too shall pass and the joy of life will return. Just let it flow... hugs and

  6. Mari,
    Sending love and prayers.....


  7. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. Morning always follows the dark.

    One Love.

  8. thinking of you...and sending all the strength and good vibes i can.


  9. My friend, worry not about what has not happened but experience rather the moment that is today. The boys are your lifeline to help you out when you need it but today you feel what is happening right now.

    Sad I am that you must go through this at this time of the year, I have faith in you, in your ability to go on. I believe that you can and will go on and that you and your boys will flourish in love together.

    We are here for you and will offer our love and support always ... even when you do not think to ask for it. Those who post above and below are part of your world and come here because we think about and care about you.

    Peace my friend
    ~ Philip

  10. i´m so sorry. sending you lots of love and hugs dear marinik.

  11. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. I hope that you are able to find the strength you are seeking. I came to your blog tonight because I wanted to refer you to another blog that I have been reading that made me think of you. I hope there is something in it that speaks to you.

  12. Such wisdom and compassion have been sent from your friends above. I can add nothing but to let you know that I'm reading and I care very much. Blessings dear beautiful Marinik.