Sunday, August 30, 2009

back to reality....

Here we are back home... back to reality. So much has happened in that puny little week we were I guess life doesn't stop just cause you're out of town :) Never a dull moment in LA, the view from the plane and on the road home was of a city lost in all the smoke from the fires of the past few days. This picture might not show the mushroom like cloud of smoke that looked as though it would devour downtown LA at any moment. This morning that smoke had spread all over the city and ash covered everything in sight... like I said never a dull moment...

Well... smokey air or not we still visited Gag this morning, and I guess he's been busy too... the tombstone has been placed, it looks beautiful (if it can be called that)... but it is perfect, a simple stone for a simple guy. I guess it's been set in stone now... no more denying this reality... I'm still pissed that he is gone... but like he always said... "it is what it is"... and there isn't a thing we can do about it... We took some flowers, and a mortadella sandwich.... why you ask?? That's what he asked from me when he visited me in my dream the other night, the first time I've seen him in a dream since he left (strange request... but a request from him nonetheless)...

And... as I went through my mail this morning (the regular paper mail.. you know that gets delivered by a mailman)... I found a couple of cards addressed to me from my lovely blog buddies, how sweet is that?? One was from Julochka, all the way in Denmark, and the other from Ali in the beautiful state of Georgia. Can you guess which one is Julie's? :) Ali also included a little notepad that's too cute, now every time I'm jotting something down I'll be thinking of you darlin. Both had some beautiful words for me, both are awesome ladies and have been great supportive blog friends, I hope someday to join them at Blog Camp and really get to know them in person.

The last little heart warming surprise was yet another award, given to me by another great blog friend, Shannon. Thank you my dear, this award really made me smile inside.

So, it would appear that life does go on... whether you're present or not. But of course it makes it so much better when you are "present", and have your mind, eyes, and heart open to see all that is happening around you.
Our trip was very nice, all of us got a lot of rest and had oodles of fun which I'll go into with details on another day, it was a much needed getaway.... and yet coming home to all the smiling faces of family is always such a bonus. And as harsh as this reality is that we've come back to.... it is still life... our life... filled with much beauty, joy, sadness, pain, and great memories... so we move onward now... with a little more energy and strength.


  1. I am sure many will agree that we are smiling that you are back and you had "oodles of fun". :) Cannot wait to hear about some of those oodles.

    I detected a smile in your voice in this blog and that....well that is GOOD!


  2. Glad you and your boys are home safe.

  3. Welcome home and I'm glad my card got there safe and sound! You're not directly affected by the fires are you? if so you can always come and crash with me in GA!!!!

  4. hey Ali thanks for the invite :) but no we're not that close, but some family we have living in the area had to be evacuated... oh well better safe than sorry, thanks for the card again

  5. I love that you took him a sandwich. Not sure what mortadella is, or that I want to know, but if he asked for it then I'm glad you answered! I really wish your were going to BC reno too. Hugs to you...
    PS- my hubs always always says "it is what it is" ... I try to take that attitude but sometimes its easier than others...

  6. I'm so happy that you guys had a chance to spend time with each other & had a good time. He will always be by your sides forever & ever. Yeah life goes on & we have no choice but to move on & always keep him close to your heart just like hes doing with you & your boys.
    With love,
    -Ani S.

  7. Seeing him in a dream is a really good sign - he must be in a good place if he is visiting you already (although it sounds like they need a deli there). I'm so glad you and the boys had a good getaway and everyone must have lovely tans by now!

  8. I agree with FM, dreams are good and lovely, I think that's so lovely... I just said that. Whenever I miss someone terribly, and I get to dream about them, I have a smile on my dial for weeks. You actually get to hang out with them for a while, even though in stupid old real life this is impossible. Lovely!

  9. It always tickles me when something happens and you discover that you are loved. Why does that seem to surprise you?

    Welcome home. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Go forward knowing you are loved, you have been loved by the best that love can offer. Know that you are blessed. Know that you have within you every single thing you need to make this life very special. And know that you are never alone.

    Did I mention you are loved???

  10. i'm so glad the card arrived at last! :-) you knew i'd have to get something bright.

    i think it's a very good sign that gag talked to you in a dream. the mortadella sandwich request is quite hilarious.

    it sounds like you're beginning to surface.


  11. Marin jan
    welcome home. i am so glad you and the boys had fun. it is not so strange that Gag asked for a mortadella sandwich, because i remember when i used to work at the shop he always orderd mortadella sandwich. i am so glad that you had the chance to see him in your dream. love, Elen

  12. if i told you the strength, you and Gag gave me today. you wouldn't believe me. he is an angel.

  13. what nice mail and award prices. i totally relate to the coming back: even after shot whiles it seem like things are different. but usually reality kicks in after 3-4 days and i start to feel i never left ;)

  14. Dear Mari, can you take sometime to share with us few of Gagik's sayings or favorite quotes about life.

  15. i´m glad you had a wonderful time. what is mortadella exactly?... besos-jane

  16. for those who don't know what mortadella's a type of an Italian balogny, just pop into a local Italian deli and ask for it, some have bits of garlic in them some have pistachios, it's really good, especially just tucked into a nice fresh crusty bread...yumm

  17. to the anonymous commenter... i will be more than happy to.., i have mentioned a few things in my past posts... but i'll devote one entire post to that, and please sign your name next time so we know who you are :)
    on the same note... for all my silent readers.... please speak up sometimes, i'd love to hear what you have to say :)

  18. Dear Marinne,
    I´ve been looking throuhg the internet for some information for my state exam. I don´t know how it happend, but somehow at the moment I was reading your pages. Dear Marinne, many waters have passed since our lives crossed in The Photo Shoppe on Eagle Rock Blvd. I don´t know if you remember me. My name is Jana (The Czech Republic). I apologize for my bad English, many have forgotten in recent years. Acctually I can not express in english how much I feel sorry for Gagig, how much I feel sorry, that you met in your life so painfull event.
    You and your husband meant a lot to me. I am very thankful I met you both in that time I was visiting America. You helped me a lot.
    Dear Marinne, accept my sincere condolences, although delayed.
    Jana Storcova,