Visited Gag again today, till the tombstone is placed I want to make sure the site is marked somehow... fresh flowers every week. His spot is right next to my yaya (grandma), you know she was Greek and liked to feed anyone who walked in the door.... so I think Gag's being well taken care of....
Today I brought him a little treat, his favorite pastry, a nice fresh napoleon with the custard filling, just the way he liked it.... although I'm sure the deer that come down the hill to munch on the flowers at night will enjoy the treat as well.
I could never understand people who went to the cemetery often and spend time there... I always figured, if you miss that person just think about them and that's how they'll stay in your heart, but grandma always tried to make me see her side of it... she lost her son at 35 from a car crash and I don't think she ever got over it till the very last days of her life, but always wanted to spend time at the grave site, considering my uncle was buried in Armenia... this was a tough task... so she used to fly all that way every year just to spend a month visiting her son every day. Again, I could never understand that obsession... of going... cleaning... she even had a bench built there, so she could spend longer hours with him, but you know since I've been visiting Gag every week... it does make you feel a little better... I guess you feel like you're a bit closer.
It's kind of strange actually, considering... he was cremated and we still have half his ashes at home... but still going there... putting some flowers and lighting some essence .... just gives you a different kind of peace...we humans are very strange....
(sorry for the bad images... they were taken with my rinky-dink phone).
Have a great Sunday eve...
love... peace... joy...
No, it's so true. I was raised by grandmother, who lost her son when he was 15. There was so much i didn't understand back then, and I know she never got over losing him. Now that I'm a mother I can understand some of her pain, not all but just some. I washed the stone on my fathers grave today before beginning my day. I found myself just sitting there, almost lost in a way. But knowing the way. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteI love ya!
IN my culture, dead persons are usually cremated and not buried. I have to admit though, that when my granny passed, I yearned for a grave, a go-to place, even if she lives on in my heart.
ReplyDeleteCristina... it does make sense cuz that's what I felt today. love ya too.
ReplyDeleteDash.. I guess it can get a bit sad when you don't have that go-to-place like you said.
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ReplyDeleteI see it as part of the human need for contact. Contact that is a reminder. I avoided these until just recently when I would return home to England and I was able to see where my great grandmother was laid to rest, where my grandfather's ashes were interred next to the woman he loved and I never knew but for whom I am named. I placed my father's father in the catacombs under the cathedral Christmas two yeas past. I know that when I am home next I will be there to touch that bronze plaque and say my hello granddad. I think age gives us a wisdom that says it is OK to remember, it is OK to miss, that it is OK to be human and need that contact. We know they are with us, we know they are around us, we know our minds and hearts will never forget but a place to respect, to honor and to touch reaffirms their reality.
ReplyDeletePeace
~Philip
well said Philip
ReplyDeleteI think whatever gives you peace is exactly what you should do. And you are.
ReplyDeleteWhich makes me very happy.
this really brought tears to my eyes...i think because i'm totally unable to visit sabin's twin sister's grave (she was stillborn). i fear it so much. that stone. but maybe hearing your perspective will make me able to bring myself to go there....
ReplyDeleteJulie that is a tough one...give it a chance you may find peace when you go there...the first step will be the hardest
ReplyDeletehugs
mari