Thursday, April 16, 2009

Nurturers by Nature

I've been under the weather the last couple of days, and that's a scary thing in our home. Gagik can't get sick right now, his body is very vulnerable after all the chemo sessions, it's very weak and would not be able to fight. And it's been very tough trying to stay away from him, considering I've had to drive him to City of Hope for some more tests, and have to care for him at home. I am so exhausted, all you want to do when you feel feverish and achy is hug a pillow and drink something warm right? Well, I don't have that luxury right now. My mom has been helpful as much as she can, but she has her hands full too. So, last night as I finally got some pillow hugging time, I got to thinking about something that once again got me all worked up. (As my thoughts often do...)

I being a nurturing person by nature, and am always the primary care giver at home, found myself wanting someone to nurture me for a change, at least just someone to make me some soup or give me some hot tea or something. Let's go deeper into this shall we? I have my husband, who let's face it right now can't be much of a nurturer or care giver to anyone, then I have my kids.... boys, who asides from blowing kisses at me from across the room as they pass me (which is great), don't really know how to nurture. Ok, stay with me here, and please don't think of me as sexist, or old fashion..... but I think nurturers by nature are women, yes, there are many men we all know who could pull it off, but mostly this is one gift, or ability that women posses more than men. However, lately as the world of women has taken a shift, everything is off balance too. I think women are trying very hard to compete, and succeed in this society, and in the process have lost the very essence of being a woman. I believe that men and women are not created equally, there I've said it, now you can call me "old fashioned". If we were supposed to be the same then there would be just one entity right? We are different, and we should embrace those differences.
A marriage is an equal effort to happiness, and both man and woman bring a lot to the table, but not the same things. As many of the roles have changed nowadays, so have families, life is becoming a struggle, and marriages are crumbling. Yes, we each can succeed in the others world, and women can be the providers, and men can be the caregivers, but at the end of the day, when it's just family at home, the corporate wife should hang that hat and play the loving mom and wife, not the controlling executive (dinner table is not a board meeting). And so the husband should shift roles and take control of certain things that need a mans touch..... Let's face it, if you ask anyone now, a man doesn't find a controlling powerful woman attractive, nor does a woman find any desire for (excuse my French) a pussyfied man.

Wow, see what happens when I let my thoughts roll out through my fingers? All I'm saying is... girls, take care of your men, and they will in turn want to care for you even more. Find that nurturing woman inside and let her out, and let your man be the man.

As far as finding a nurturer for me, well I made my soup and got my tea, and gave a good lecture to the boys, hope next time they can help me out a little.


  1. Hi Marine, my name is Narine. I am a friend of Nairy's and attended you big Halloween party a few years ago. She told me about Gagik fighting cancer and sent me your blog. I want you to know you and your family are in my prayers. I admire your strength and pray God blesses you with miracles you never imagined would happen. Keep your love and faith strond, though I would imagine how hard it could be at times. One of my favorite lines is from the movie The Notebook. "Science can only go so far, and then there's God". With that said, God Bless and I will continue reading your blogs.

  2. Hi Marine.

    Words spoken so wisely. I think you are so correct in your assessment of today's woes regarding the male female paradox. And i also know that you are right that many will consider your position old fashioned. But you know, I think that is part of the problem. Why should a wonderful nurturing woman who has been granted the exceptional gift of being a mother and a nurturer think so less of themselves as to think that in order to be respected and loved, they have to be more like their counterparts. As you know I am a Taoist and In Tao there is a clear and very effective separation of the Yin and Yang. The Masculine and the Feminine and when these two parts are in harmony there is bliss. I believe the world is confused with false careerism, and misguided application of emancipation. Koodos to you a women, a mother and an exceptional example of a true feminine power. We need more like you...

    1. I agree with the first two comments given before mine.