How will I survive this???......
Last night Gag and I were watching TV together, sitting close and I started caressing his hand.
It took me back to our first date.... We walked up and down Brand Blvd. several times looking for the restaurant we wanted to go to, as we couldn't remember exactly where it was ( which was kinda fun too). After about a half an hour we finally found it, and took a booth, ordered our Mai Tais, and were looking through the menu. That was the first time I noticed his hands (which by the way are still one of my favorite features of his). I loved his hands, couldn't stop looking at them and for many years now can't stop touching and kissing them. They are very manly hands, very strong and yet still gentle and soft...
And of course as I was caressing them, it made me think of how hard it's going to be to lose him.
It's not everyday you find exactly what you are looking for in a life partner, and not everyone is as fortunate to have that in their lives... Here we are two such fortunate souls who have found that perfect person with whom we want to spend the rest of our days with, and grow old with, enjoy our kids and grand kids with, go on long walks with, have hours of conversations without getting bored with.... and now all that is going to be left short, with those dreams left unsatisfied....
We looked at each other, and as my eyes teared up I turned my face so that he won't notice, but he did, and right then we knew what we were both thinking, and the pain was so deep in the core of our souls, we said nothing and just sat there holding each others hands.
It's just not right.... and it hurts too much....
How will I survive this???...
Last night Gag and I were watching TV together, sitting close and I started caressing his hand.
It took me back to our first date.... We walked up and down Brand Blvd. several times looking for the restaurant we wanted to go to, as we couldn't remember exactly where it was ( which was kinda fun too). After about a half an hour we finally found it, and took a booth, ordered our Mai Tais, and were looking through the menu. That was the first time I noticed his hands (which by the way are still one of my favorite features of his). I loved his hands, couldn't stop looking at them and for many years now can't stop touching and kissing them. They are very manly hands, very strong and yet still gentle and soft...
And of course as I was caressing them, it made me think of how hard it's going to be to lose him.
It's not everyday you find exactly what you are looking for in a life partner, and not everyone is as fortunate to have that in their lives... Here we are two such fortunate souls who have found that perfect person with whom we want to spend the rest of our days with, and grow old with, enjoy our kids and grand kids with, go on long walks with, have hours of conversations without getting bored with.... and now all that is going to be left short, with those dreams left unsatisfied....
We looked at each other, and as my eyes teared up I turned my face so that he won't notice, but he did, and right then we knew what we were both thinking, and the pain was so deep in the core of our souls, we said nothing and just sat there holding each others hands.
It's just not right.... and it hurts too much....
How will I survive this???...
Marin jan, it is VERY unfair...it is outragous!!!! This should not be happening to your family...to such a kind person like Gago...There are so many so called people AKA viruses that go on living being only a menace...Ehhh...
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say...except that this whole situation is just so surreal...It hasn't sunk in yet...I don't even want to imagine what you're going through...The unbearable pain....
Sorry, didn't mean to depress you even more...It's just makes me so sad reading such heartbreaking words...and the way Gago is handling this horrible thing...with such strenght...all the while thinking about you, Arman and Robert...and what will happen...
Aniko
i read ur comment at naturallynina and clicked here immediately. I cried after reading your post. I admire ur courage to savour every moment. My prayers are with you and Gago.*Hugs*
ReplyDeleteWow, i was so choked up after reading that post. In the midst of that pain, I am so glad that you guys have each other, I mean in that moment, you were both completely and fully present and with each other, so many couples live a lifetime together and experience so few of those moments. As painful as this experience is every moment you have together is a gift and I'm so glad you are cherishing it. Mar, as Aniko said, I cannot imagine that kind of pain, but if anyone can servive it I vote for you!
ReplyDelete